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larsisfrommars · 3 years ago

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El Hotel De Los Secretos Ep. 8 Reaction

@seismologically-silly

Attempted stabbing interrupted by Pascual calling Julio to attention! A physical struggle ensues, Julio interrogates Pascual about the bauble that belonged to his sister. Pascual continues to deny involvement O Crap Julio Has A Knife. More stabbings being interrupted! This time by the head butler, Julio postponed his interrogation for now.

Pascual is absolutely terrified of someone/something the following morning and I’m not entirely convinced it’s Julio.

Teresa confronts her son about his Objectively Worst Choice in which servant to frame for the murder he may or may not have committed. Teresa has chosen to protect Sofia over Felipe. YAY! Andrés is back!! Everybody is about as happy to see him as me! Of course he’s well loved by the staff.

Andrés brings his mom tea (with a little alcohol, thanks Chef Lupe 😂). He checks in on his mother and asks her what she did, he gets worried when she gets super cryptic about it. She doesn’t allow him to press further and puts everybody back to work. Andrés is a little peeved “aren’t we gonna celebrate a little?” “my way of celebrating is honest work.” Oh dear…

More “where the fuck is money/evidence” between Diego and the bowler hat guy, he wants him to find not just the money but the ring I think (or the button or something else Julio/Andrés found) I can’t think of why else he would’ve been searching their room.

Pascual took the money!! No wonder he was so terrified early, he wasn’t afraid of Julio, he’s afraid of bowler hat guy!! Pascual runs into Victoria on his way (now officially on the run methinks). I’m sure she’s gonna investigate that further.

Ohhhhh no my HEART 😍 Andrés has decided to surprise Julio at work! The platter Julio was carrying drops, they’re chirping each others names and hugging I am going SO RABID over these two AHHHHHH!!! 💕

Teresa and Ángela just had an incredibly tense interaction. Ángela seems apologetic to have to have done what she did to protect her son. Teresa seems to want Ángela to swear she’ll hold up her end of the deal, she does.

Isabel comes to see Andrés and congratulate him on his freedom. They discuss what happened and I believe Isabel lies to Andrés that Felipe is the one who did it (but not telling him what Felipe had been the one to plant the knife OR that she isn’t sure Felipe guilty), she hopes justice will eventually be served (this seems to take Julio aback a little).

Julio has an aside with Isabel and thanks her for protecting Andrés’s happiness by not telling him everything, they both care for him very much and are happy he’s back, even if they both seem upset by the fact they’re hiding things from him.

Andrés continues to be ridiculously excited about being a dad and has come to check on Belén like he always does at the laundry area. This time his mom be snooping! He goes on and on about wanting to give her and the baby whatever they need.

I wonder what Ángela was hoping to find out, because what she found is Belén manipulating the heck out of him. Every time I think I’ve judged Belén too quickly she says/does some manipulative shit and I’m like “oh never mind!” 😂😅

Ayala chastises his sidekick for fraternizing with the prisoners, “you’re a policeman, our job is important, act like it!” going on about how they still need to figure out what exactly happened to Ximena. They don’t seem to be getting much from Felipe, shit isn’t connecting right.

Hooray for Ayala chastising his deputy again and telling him prostitutes are people! I’m legit really starting to like this guy, his motivation is finding the truth in a show about secrets. Even if he really REALLY missed the mark on Andrés. I think mostly because he didn’t realize Salinas’s nervous, friendly energy is completely genuine. (Autism mood right there)

Pascual trying to gtfo with his briefcase full of cash and of COURSE he runs into Diego and has to pretend everything is chill and get back to work. Oooooooh Victoria just found out what’s in the briefcase and fuckin STOLE it! She just took it to Luisa ohhhhh MAN. Ngl I think if someone else is gonna die, it’s gonna be Pascual for trying to cut and run.

Ángela is cozying up to Natalia, “thanks for your discretion, you’re doing well at the grand hotel, you’ve got friends right? Are you friends with Belén? 👀” and she has asked her if Belén has been with any man other than Andrés and Natalia is squirming like she knows something!

Now that I think about it I think the amount of time Belén has been pregnant (or something else that was said) might’ve tipped Ángela off is that the baby isn’t Andrés’s. Though what SHE doesn’t know is that Andrés knows that! Juicy!!

Jacinto (the gardener) has brought clothes for Felipe to the police station but is refused entry. Detective Ayala is currently questioning Felipe and the cop tells Jacinto it’s none of his business. Jacinto overhears two cops talking about problems having to do with Ayala and the cantina.

Luisa is very politely interrogating Diego over coffee. She’s concerned about her son and his role in the hotel (possibly because she’s worried about his safety in this web of lies). She’s giving the briefcase full of cash Victoria stole as means to gain power and influence over the hotel for herself and for her son! Daaaaaamn.

Ayala and sidekick are attending the open casket funeral of a prostitute (I think it might be Violeta’s older sister) who is very obviously alive since they go out of the way so we can see and hear her breathing 😂. I have a feeling they’re somehow using this “death” as a scam or cover up of something. Unless those shots were just bad lol. More of Violeta’s gorgeous singing voice which we found out she has last episode!

Meanwhile Andrés and Julio are ironing newspapers. They’re talking about Isabel and I think Julio just admitted to feeling affection for her (which makes Andrés nervous for him, then again what doesn’t?). Julio goes on about like, it’s not gonna happen but she is pretty great (romantic cross fade to her in the next scene).

Isabel has written to her friend Matilde (the girl she was chatting with in the very first episode!) she’s telling her about all the non-drama (which y’know, isn’t really much all things considered) and is like “I wish you were here, you’d know what to do.” Looks like Matilde may be joining our ever growing cast of characters some point soon!

Jacinto enters the scene, and in doing so, sees the abuse poor Violeta is going through first hand. She storms off and Jacinto follows suit. Diego confronts Pascual about the briefcase, Pascual throws Julio under the bus immediately.

Pascual takes the briefcase again and goes directly to Isabel’s room! Crap!! 🔪🔪🔪 he’s taken her hostage! Julio has seen them as Pascual takes Isabel into the woods! Julio tries to negotiate with Pascual to let Isabel go and asks about Cristina, revealing to him that he’s her brother!

Pascual gets very upset regarding Cristina, I think Julio is negotiating that he’ll get Pascual a ticket out of town if he tells him what happened to her. Pascual clears Felipe’s name I THINK DIEGO JUST SHOT PASCUAL before Pascual could tell Julio who’s responsible for Cristina! Damnit!! WHY AM I ALWAYS RIGHT?! 😂

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leejungchans · 4 years ago

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— juliet on kingdom (episode 7).

juliet’s masterlist

from may 13’s episode

note: read the tweets from the bottom up 💕 keep in mind that this contains spoilers in case you want to watch the episode first :3 more under the cut bc this gets LONG ahjdhwjd 😔

— juliet’s outfit;

disclaimer: the blurring of faces in my outfit collages is in no way meant as a form of disrespect, the sole purpose is to put the focus on the hairstyle and there is absolutely no ill intent. thank you for understanding!!

so everyone really kinda freaked out last episode

bc they didn’t see juliet in the previews for the unit stages

she wasn’t with jongho, eunkwang and seungmin

nor was she with 3racha and joong

so that would leave the performance unit right??

atinys were desperately zooming into screenshots of the performance unit stage for any sign of our girl

and found nothing :(

even in the preview that came after the first one, she was nowhere to be seen 😔

eventually some people started theorising if it was bc mnet didn’t let her participate for whatever reason

and the truth is...drumroll please 🥁

SURPRISE

the boys sent her to be in the rap unit with joong 😋😋

mnet just didn’t show her scenes in the first two previews (like they did with minhyuk)

but she was in the previews where they went to jyp 🥺🥺

she was paired up with jisung for the 120-second interview :3

just two shy besties uwu

“why? why are you laughing?” jisung whines, “and right after you looked at my face too!”

juliet continues to laugh, hiding the lower half of her face behind her hands. “sorry, sorry, i’m not laughing at you, i promise!” she says between giggles, “i just didn’t expect us to be so nervous.”

“ah, i get shy around new people, more than what people would expect. so that’s kinda why i’m a bit awkward right now.”

“i’m like that too, but i thought we became closer friends during the sports day filming! i’m hurt!” she says, placing a hand over her heart.

“no, no, no!” jisung defends, waving his hands frantically, “we did! i’m still shy, i guess.”

“not shy, not me!” juliet sings in response, doing the hand movement in the choreography of itzy’s song.

stunned into silence by the sudden reference of his label-mates, jisung blinks at her owlishly before a loud ‘pft’ sound emits from both of them, and they dissolve into giggles once more.

“okay, okay,” she says, sobering up a little after a few seconds. “we need to do this seriously. no more being awkward! awkward is just a mindset.”

jisung’s eyes widen. “woah, you’re right. we won’t feel awkward if we just tell ourselves that we’re being cool.”

she nods approvingly. “exactly. we are cool.”

“okay then, let’s go!” he shouts enthusiastically, earning muffled snickers from the other members who are sitting off-screen.

juliet and jisung go quiet again from his outburst. she even tried to bite the inside of her cheek to stifle any laughter, but her efforts are futile as they both promptly collapse to the ground in a fit of giggles.

“i-i don’t think we can do this,” juliet wheezes to the cameras, clutching her stomach as tears gather in the corners of her eyes. beside her, jisung isn’t faring any better as he attempts to catch his breath.

off-screen, changbin playfully complains, “yah! what are you two doing? you’re supposed to be doing an interview!”

when she entered the jyp café with joong and minhyuk 3racha was like omg hiiiiiii

no one was happier than chan to see her 🥺

AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE OI OI OI

3racha made her, joong and minhyuk sing their orders 💀💀

minhyuk: juliet your ears are so red lmao

juliet: [quickly untucks her hair so it covers her ears] do i really have to do this? 😭😭

chan: yes you do bestie 🤩

“[sighs] americanoooo~ joha joha~”

hongjoong: [cringes but also uwu bc she’s his baby]

3racha: kqjejwjdnsj awwww

minhyuk: ohhhhh~ cuteeee

smh juliet stop (unintentionally) collecting men 😔

okay but changbin treated them all with his jyp artist points 🥺🥺🥺 changbin best boy

juliet, to chan: i’ll come next time to use up your points 😼

minhyuk: me too!! juliet let’s go together!!!

yeah she malfunctioned for a second bc The™️ lee minhyuk just said that and he was her celebrity crush for the longest time pls

she is the most successful melody 😔

she was so excited when they all went to chan’s studio

“ohhhHhh so this is the famous chan’s room 😼 honoured to be here mate”

pls they named themselves 6racha and were literally just having a blast in the studio 😭😭😭

minhyuk: your voice sounds so different when you rap!!

juliet: really? 😅😅 i didn’t really notice

minhyuk: yeah it’s cool :]

okay but when they went to jypbob for lunch

she was so amazed by all the food

“😮😮😮 THIS ALL LOOKS SO GOOD WTF”

the Jeekies™️ making their debut on national tv

yes both jisung’s and juliet’s 🥰🥰

she was so shy when the others in mayfly came to watch rap unit’s rehearsal 😭😭😭

also everyone in the mayfly vocal and dance units went ❓❓❓ where is juliet????? shouldn’t she be here??????

felix: where’s my bestie :(

no lixliet for the unit stages 💔

wooyoung/jongho: oh she’s in the rap unit :D

“WDYM SHE’S IN THE RAP UNIT??????”

okay but as much of a power move this is, she was also so so so nervous

like, the most nervous she’s ever been on kingdom

bc she’s going to be performing with so many incredible rappers, juliet knows that she really has to give it her all to keep up with them

so she was Big Stressed™️ and not in a fun way

it was more of a “oh god what if i’m way too far behind and the difference in skill is so obvious that i cost our groups points????” way

but in true queen fashion, she definitely killed it during rehearsals and everyone in the unit reassured her that she had nothing to worry about 🥺🥺

move over round 2 juliet bc if you thought that was the last we’d see of rapper juliet, you have a big storm coming 😼😼

she rapped with hongjoong before he joined changbin, then rejoined the performance to rap with chan!!

aussie line stans are well fed ✨✨

girlie was collecting everyone in the audience 😼

pls but ateez was so proud of her bc they knew how stressed she was about this performance 😭😭😭

she was so relieved when mayfly won that she teared up before being pulled into the group hug :(((

“i’m so relieved by the results,” juliet says to the cameras during their backstage interview, the other members in the rap unit nodding in agreement. “we all had a lot of fun preparing for this performance, and i’m just really proud of us.”

“wait,” minhyuk says, tone laced with concern, “are you tearing up? why? we did well!”

hongjoong, sitting in the back row, reaches forward to pat juliet on the shoulder comfortingly as she goes silent to suppress the tears. “she was really stressed preparing for this performance, so she’s a bit overwhelmed right now,” he explains for her.

juliet inhales deeply before saying, “because our unit has so many great rappers, i felt burdened because i was scared that my rapping wouldn’t be up to par with everyone else’s. but everyone was so encouraging and kind, and it really helped me push through the pressure, so i’m very thankful.”

“ey, you did so well,” jisung says enthusiastically. “we never worried about your performance!”

now that their rap unit finished performing she could sit back and enjoy the other performances!!

she was mesmerised by it’s one’s dance unit bc their performance was so beautiful

she said :OOOOOO

then came mayfly’s dance unit!!!!

“MAYFLY LET’S GOOOOOOOO”

pls she was their biggest hypewoman 😭😭😭😭

literally screamed during san and felix’s part

then when wooyoung and felix did the stunt????

she lost her SHIT

the way mnet cut from chan’s worried “felix?” to juliet’s “FELIXXXXXX :D” 😭

“YEAHHHHHHHHH MAYFLYYYYY!!!!”

pls she was so so proud 😭😭😭😭😭😭

in conclusion mayfly are besties now ❤️❤️

— fan reactions;

a/n: hello is everyone okay because I AM NOT 💔💔 all the stages from today were so so good and i’m so proud of all the units 🤧🤧💗 i NEED the studio versions of all the songs from today <//3 (and from round 2 too 😭) also lemme know if you’d like to see the full version of jisung and juliet’s 120 sec interview!! 😋 (though i’m prolly gonna write it anyways whdjwhs) your feedback and support means a lot to me so tysm!! 🥺❤️

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lovelyrhink · 5 years ago

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more R/J/L inspired by convos with @secondhand-watermelon ❤︎

rhett sends link a text message late at night and link responds immediately asking what's up rhett sends back a single photo of jessie stark naked and tied to the master bed, all spread open with a thick toy plugging her up and post-it on her tit that says "missing link"

OHHHHH FUCK

link sits up in bed and flees downstairs to the living room. christy remains sleeping

Oh baby don't stop

he and jessie and rhett have been having their own thing going on for a while now, independent of christy. she doesn't know that they hang out, sit up drinking wine together that jessie sits wedged between them. that she flirts like a maniac at both of them. they tease each other about being hot, and frisky, and sneaky. they like having their own throuple

That is just the epitome of my favorite rhink family dynamic

weeks ago, before quarantine, rhett and link went to rhett's house after work to hang out with jessie. it's so natural for them, and link loves being there. he loves having the mclaughlins over of course, but when he and rhett meet up with jessie... they sit too close. flirt too much. say things they shouldn't. and on the friday before california called shelter in place, jessie took things a little too far

I bet it feels so exciting like they're young and flirting with each other and not 40 and married

they'd been talking about the rhink fans thinking rhett and link are fucking. jessie jokes that they should be, that they'd like it. "everyone knows it," she says. "y'all should fuck." they laughed, but then jessie sipped her wine and her eyes went dark. "or kiss. right now." she leaned into them. "kiss each other, right now." link's sitting downstairs now, alone in the dark living room. it's past midnight and he's remembering the night, the kiss. and the other kiss.

OMG she's so confident and commanding I'm in love

link kissed rhett that night. and jessie. and he got hard, and breathed on her mouth that he wanted to fuck her. and he kissed her at midnight but went home at 12:03, leaving questions unanswered between the three of them link wants to fuck jessie. his whole body screams for her whether she's beside him and rhett or not. he thinks about her, thinks about rhett with her. so when he gets this text, link knows rhett's taken the first step. it's really happening. link's staring at the image. he hasn't responded. rhett's text bubble appears typing, then he sends: she wants you real bad, brother link's body shrieks with heat and his dick throbs where it pokes his pajamas

Oh God the breathing against her mouth. And then the use of the name brother I'm dead

I miss her, Link writes back he knows it's a game. they've acutely avoided not talking about their kiss. leaning into wanting jessie is a stepping stone towards wanting each other, and link wants it. but he can only sin in one way at a time and fucking his best friend's wife without the consent of his own is bad enough

DAMN they can only sin in one way at a time OOF

rhett texts back: she misses you. link writes: if we weren't separated right now, i'd be there with both of you rhett sends another photo. jessie's on her knees, ankles bound, wrists tied to the headboard. she's looking over her shoulder, and link can see everything. his mouth waters stop teasin' me, link texts. he can't breathe how much you wanna bet you're not touching yourself yet, rhett writes

What a Rhett thing to say I love it

link groans. he plants his feet on the carpet and shoves his hand down his pants he squeezes hard with his right hand and angles his camera phone with the other, snapping a photo of his tented pajamas and hand down his pants, groping somewhere rhett can't see it's fucking huge. lengthy she wants to grab your dick, says rhett link waits, can feel his heartbeat in his throat and his meat

It's the first dick pic that link has ever sent in his life

YEAH IT'S THE FIRST ONE and not even his bare dick

Jessie's attraction to him is so validating

link doesn't jerk, just holds it. waits and so do i, rhett adds

Rhett’s attraction to him is like nothing else in the world

link almost chokes on his body's reaction to that before he does something he regrets, he abandons the living room and runs outside, around the back of the house it's cold outside but his whole body is hot he kneels in the wet grass behind his house and fumbles with trembling fingers he calls rhett

Link goes around the side of the house under the open night sky after Rhett texts him that pic of Jessie because he’d rather be caught by the neighbors jerking off than have his wife overhear what he says through the phone He goes as far from his bedroom as he can, calls rhett and waits with shaky breaths. Squatted in the grass “Hey.” “Put your mouth on her.” Link hears a surprised soft whimpering and a fumbling. He hears Jessie call sweetly, “Hey baby, what’d he say- oh....” and Link goes hot as coals

omg more yay

He shoves one hand into his pants and grips the phone with the other, straining to hear the soft noises of Rhett’s tongue flicking her

He starts tugging himself in quick strokes as Rhett makes soft moaning sounds, and jessie joins him, and then link’s moaning, and he’s burning, and he needs to see it “Take a picture, Rhett,” he commands. “Then give the phone to J - Jessie.” Waves of arousal overcome him as he says their names with his hand in his PJ’s He waits, then looks to see the photo rhett sends Held out like a selfie but he’s not looking, beardy jaw and handsome profile, mouth buried in his wife Jessie’s so hot, the part of her body that shows. Her dark pubic hair and smooth olive skin. Link wants to touch her taut belly, her hips. Wants to shove rhett outta the way and get his tongue on her pinkness instead He puts it back to his ear and grunts through the phone, “fuck, looks so good. Jess, Jess, lemme- needa see him...” Another few photos. Some blurry, with Jessie’s finger in the shot Then a “Sorry” and another one Crystal clear, Rhett’s mouth ‘tween her thighs, hands on her waist, green gray eyes looking right at Link Link makes a weird horny house and cries into the night, nearly dropping the phone It’s so fucking hot. He’s so fucking hot. Wants to be there, with both of them. Nobody knowing but them what Jessie tastes like, feels like Link trains his eyes on Rhett in the photo, blush stained cheeks. He jerks himself for a while, more sensitive, tingly and shameful than he’s ever been He gives them a moment, hearing Jessie’s hips grinding her pussy on Rhett’s mouth. Can hear the slick sounds, and Rhett’s muffled moans “I’m so close...” he whispers And it’s jessie who replies, phone now on her chest somewhere. Link can hear her hard breaths and her heartbeat if he imagines he can She groans, “gonna finish ya,” And a few seconds later Link gets a video Jessie’s thighs spread, one hand fisted in Rhett’s curls Rocking her hips up to meet Rhett’s mouth - and Rhett, moving. Flicking his tongue. Swiveling his head. Grunting, sucking. Seeing rhett like this - what he’s really like when licking Jessie deep - is more incredible than Link had ever imagined it, and she’s right - it finishes him He squeezes vicelike on his cock and trains his eyes on Rhett’s face, his quick pink mouth and handsome eyes - those eyes - Link sobs through the phone, “Rhett.....” and spills all over the wet grass He slumps back against the house and breathes, listening to the remaining muffling moans through the phone “Yes, oh yesssss,” he hisses, hot stinging cock cooling in the night air. He hadn’t even remembered taking it out of his pants, he was so into it

F U C K. My car is reading this like an erotic audiobook

Link listens as Rhett finishes Jessie with his mouth, idly swirling a fingertip On his bellybutton as if he’s rubbing Jessie’s swollen, mouth-fucked clit All three of them make noises when Jessie comes, and Link burns so fiercely for the couple not 10 doors down

Oh what a beautiful image that is, Link in the moonlight fucked out and pretending like he's still a part of it He wants to be in their bed sad emoji

When the heat settles, Link aches for not having them there. The night air is cold around him, unforgiving truth, and the chill of alone sets into his bones. He whispers to the lovers on the line his thanks, and that he’ll talk to them soon, and hangs up quick as the guilt sets in He tucks his cock back into his Pajamas and stands on bare feet, trembling legs. He escapes his hideaway as if he’s not damp, muddy, and sweaty with lust, and returns to the house Link turns off his phone and takes a late night shower. In the morning, when he turns his phone back on, the slutty photos remind him with the proof that it wasn’t merely a dream The end

Fucking incredible You should post that

Yes ma’am

#for wren #more whatsapp smut #lemon #polyamory #mythical ot3

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walkerismychoice · 6 years ago

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When I Touch You Like That (Logan X MC)

Book: Ride or Die

Pairing: Logan X MC

Rating: NSFW/18+

Note: This fic was a request from @choicesarehard for her birthday for the prompt: Do you like it when I touch you like that with edging as a component of the fic. I didn’t use the exact phrase, but close to it in various places and tried to keep it as a theme throughout. It is also my entry for Day 1 of Ride or Die Appreciation Week

Word Count: 2302

Logan stretches his arms over his head while lying in bed on a lazy Sunday morning. “Finally, a day all to ourselves. No work, no school, no obligations whatsoever.”

“Pshh.” Gabi rests head on Logan’s shoulder. “I don’t even know what freetime is anymore. What are we going to do with ourselves?”

“Oh, I can think of something.” Logan waggles his eyebrows suggestively.

“Well that’s 30 minutes,” Gabi teases. What about the rest of our day?”

“Hey!” Logan objects. "I think I've already proven, many times, I can keep you occupied much longer than that."

“But you are too good at making me come.” Gabi absentmindedly traces a finger over the contours of Logan’s sculpted torso. “After three or four times, I’m done.”

“Well...” Logan rolls Gabi on top of him, her legs straddling his hips. “Then I’ll just have to take my time with you.” Logan slips his hands under his white t-shirt Gabi has claimed as her own and ghosts his hands up her sides sending shivers down her spine. “I won’t let you come until I’ve explored every inch of you...” He thumbs light circles over her breasts, her nipples forming stiff peaks beneath his electric touch. “...and pushed you close to the edge over and over again.” Logan sits up and peels the t-shirt up and over Gabi’s head. He takes one of her nipples in his mouth, swirling his tongue around the tip before pulling back with a smug grin as Gabi whimpers.

Gabi’s gaze sweeps over Logan and she doesn’t think she’ll every get over how perfect he is. “You’re going to torture me, aren’t you?”

Logan suddenly flips Gabi over in one smooth motion and pins her wrists down.” Only the best kind of torture.” He kisses the sensitive spot behind her ear, and she writhes beneath him. “I think I know you pretty well by now, but I want to know all the places you like to be touched, everything that drives you wild.”

“Um, pretty much anywhere you touch me is my favorite place.”

“We’ll see about that.” Logan kneels beside Gabi and slinks down between her feet. He picks one up, swiping a finger from heel to toe and Gabi squirms.

“That tickles.” Gabi giggles and shakes her foot out of his grasp.

“See? Not everywhere is your favorite. I take it I can cross foot fetish off your list of kinks.”

“You never know, maybe I want to suck your toes,” she replies with a straight face and Logan’s eyes widen. “I’m just kidding, your toes are safe.”

Logan throws his hands up in the air. “No kink shaming from me. If you wanted to suck my toes, I’d let you...but I’m also good with you not doing that.” Logan picks up her foot again and brushes his lips against the inside of her ankle sending an unexpected jolt of pleasure upward towards her core. “How about that.”

“Wow.” Gabi laughs. “Now I get why showing your ankles in the regency era was so risque.”

“I love it when you talk nerdy to me.” Logan continues to plant kisses up her leg, looking up at her through his lashes. “It’s hot.” Logan’s mouth moves up to Gabi’s inner thigh, her whole body tensing as she fists her hands in his hair trying to guide him where she wants him the most. “Uh-uh, it’s much too soon for that.” Logan rolls Gabi onto her stomach and leans down to whisper in her ear. ”You have a whole side of you I haven’t touched at all.” He sweeps her hair over her shoulder, starting at the back of her neck and massaging downward with his fingertips.

“Mmm,” Gabi moans, every bit of her skin alight beneath his touch. His hands glide over the small of her back before he hooks his fingers in the waistband of her panties and slips them off. He works his hands back up her legs and stops on her ass, kneading the tender flesh.

Logan flops back up beside Gabi, kissing her deeply as he dips a hand between her legs. He finds her entrance, and pauses teasingly. “Let’s see how many fingers you like.” He sinks one inside and a soft moan escapes her lips. “Okay, so that’s good, but what about two?” He adds another, pumping them in and out and her moans get louder. With each thrust he his her sweet spot and she feels herself getting closer to the edge.

Without warning, Logan plunges in a third, pushing her walls to the limit and Gabi cries out, “Oh fuck!”

Logan chuckles. “It must be intense if you said ‘fuck.’ Are you good?”

Gabi nods. “More please.”

“As you wish.” Logan pushes back into her, filling her almost too much but just enough. Gabi’s breaths get faster as Logan’s pace increases and she fists the sheets in her hands, on the cusp of finding her release when Logan withdraws his fingers.

Gabi groans. “I was almost there.”

“I know, that’s the point.” Logan smirks before kissing her on the lips again and rolling her onto her back. “I’m nowhere near done with you yet.” He climbs on top of her and sucks on her neck near the dip in her collarbone. He sucks harder, responding to the subtle, unintelligible noises she’s making, and it feels so good she bucks her hips into him as a strangled sound emanates from deep within her.

Seemingly satisfied with her response, Logan continues on down, trailing kisses along her collarbone, and her skin tingles beneath his lips. He cups her breasts in both hands. “Do you like this...” He swipes his thumbs over her nipples again and a thrill runs through her. “...Or this?” He tugs her nipples between his thumb and forefinger sending a sharp jolt of pleasure straight to her core.”

“Umm...both?” It’s like comparing two equally great but very different things.

Logan cocks his head to the side as if he doesn’t believe her, but he keeps going. “Well then then how about this...” He flicks his tongue over one nipple and pleasurable sensations dance across her skin. “...Or this.” He takes the pink bud between his lips and sucks firmly as he twirls his tongue around, and her clit starts throbbing like there’s an invisible thread connecting the two.

“Oh, god...both again.”

“Seriously?” Logan questions.

“It’s hard to explain but there’s a need for all of it. It all feels amazing in different ways.”

“A need, huh?” Logan grins with a wicked gleam in his eye before he descends on her breasts again. He grinds his hips into her as he alternates between a combination of hands and mouth, lips, tongue and teeth, and Gabi’s about ready to explode.

“Ohhhhh, keep going,” she pleads.

Logan abruptly hops off her her. “And that’s my cue to stop.”

“This is no fair, Logan. I want to come,” she whines and Logan just laughs.

“I promise it will be worth waiting for.” Logan lies on his back. “Climb on. I want to taste you.” Gabi does as Logan commands, her knees on either side of his head as she hovers above his mouth. “I love seeing you like this. It’s so sexy.” Not all that long ago, being like this would have made her feel self-conscious, but Logan’s praise and reassurance gives her all the confidence in the world. She lowers herself down, and he grabs the back of her thighs, licking slowly through her folds up to her sensitive nub, trying to make it last. “You taste so fucking good, Gabi.” He continues, swirling and flicking his tongue, sucking on her clit just hard enough, but she still needs more. She grinds on his face, his light stubble prickling her delicate skin and setting her nerve endings on fire. Logan slides his hand up her body, landing on her breasts again, and her entire body is buzzing from everything combined. She braces herself, convinced he’s going to let her go all the way this time, but then he pushes her off.

“Really?” Gabi narrows her eyes at him.

“Don’t tell me you aren’t loving this.” Logan ghosts his fingertips down her arm and she shudders. “See? Your whole body is engaged.”

“Fine, but if I have to endure this torture, you do too.” Gabi removes his boxer briefs and then straddles his legs, scooting down over his knees. She takes his hard length in one hand and cups his balls with the other. She pumps her fist up and down with a loose grip, and Logan hums contentedly. She flicks her wrist as she twists over the head, picking up speed as Logan’s moans and groans get louder and more frequent. Logan pulls her up to kiss him before she pushes him too far, but once his breaths return to a normal rate, she goes back down again with her mouth this time.

“You’re amazing, Gabi. How did you get so good at this?”

“You know I’m a quick study. And it helps to have such a responsive subject.” Gabi takes him in as far as he’ll go, and he whimpers as he hits the back of her throat. Gabi pulls off with a smirk. “See? Just like that.” Gabi keeps going using a combination of her hands and mouth, tasting salty drops of precum, and she knows he’s close again. She tests him, not letting up at all, and he finally pushes her off and onto her back.

“I’m still not finished with you yet.” Logan spreads her knees apart and settles between her legs, his mouth enveloping her sex. His gaze never leaves hers, and there’s nothing hotter than watching how much he enjoys making her feel this incredible. He swipes his fingers through her folds, circling her entrance, and a finger makes its way between her two openings. Gabi’s not sure if he’s testing her or if its inconsequential, but she’s surprised at how much the thought of him touching her there excites her. She shifts her hips, nudging his finger further back.

Logan pauses and picks his head up, circling her rim with the slightest touch. “Is this where you want my finger to go?” he asks and Gabi nods affirmatively. “Okay, I’ll start small, but let me know if you want me to stop.” Logan coats his pinky with her slick wetness before easing the tip into her tight hole. She gasps, feeling an initial sharp burst of pain, but as she relaxes the pain subsides. It’s such a different sensation, she can’t describe it, but the feeling of fullness just seems to make everything else that much more intense. Logan brings his mouth to her most sensitive place again, adding two fingers to fill her other empty space. He reaches his free hand up to her breast and Gabi is overcome with stimulation.

It seems like Logan’s hands and mouth are everywhere on her body all at once. She doesn’t ever want the ecstasy to end, yet she’s yearning to reach her peak. She concentrates on the electrical current running from her head to her toes, inside her veins and across every inch of her skin, like a chain of explosives ready to ignite. She threads her hands into Logan’s hair and adjusts the angle of her hips just so, and then she’s coming harder than she ever has before, fireworks exploding through every part of her as she screams loud enough for all the neighbors to hear. Logan keeps going right through it, and as soon as Gabi thinks she’s coming down, another intense ripple of pleasure alights her body once more. He walls continue to pulse around Logan’s fingers and her body trembles for a ridiculous amount of time. Logan moves next to Gabi and holds her until her body stops shaking.

Logan kisses her hungrily on the lips, reminding her they aren’t done yet. “Are you strong enough to get on your knees for me, or do you need to lie down?”

“I can probably, manage, but I make no promises.” Gabi laughs.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to last long.” Logan kisses her again and then nudges her onto her knees. She sticks her ass in the air and rests her head on a pillow. Logan smooths his hands over her curves and then wastes no more time, aligning his tip with her entrance. He sinks in deep, and she gasps as he fills her completely. He digs his fingers into her fleshy hips, each thrust seemingly harder and faster than the last. He reaches around to rub her clit, but there’s no way she can take anymore, so she grabs his wrist and places his hand back on her hip, Logan taking it as his cue to let go. “You feel too good, Gabi. Fuck!” Logan cries out, shuddering as he finds his release inside her.

Logan rests his head on her shoulder until he catches his breath, and then gathers Gabi in his arms, kissing her sweetly on the lips. "I love you so much, Gabi."

Gabi squeezes her arms around him. "I love you too. And thank you."

"You're welcome, but what for?"

"For always caring about what I want, and making me feel comfortable enough to ask for it. And for always looking at me like I'm the most beautiful thing you've ever seen."

"That's because you are, inside and out." Logan kisses her forehead. "And you do all of that for me too. I'd say we we make a pretty good team."

"We do." Gabi rests her head on Logan's chest and closes her eyes. Lulled by the gentle rise and fall of his chest and the slow, steady rhythm of his heartbeat, she dozes off without a care in the world.

#rodaw #Logan x MC #rod logan #rof #playchoices fanfic #n*fw #ns*w

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crtranscript · 8 years ago

Text

Talks Machina: After Dark - March 7, 2017

Transcribed by Critter Ryan McClure (@IHaveThatPower) and edited by @CRTranscript!

[The camera starts focused on the big Trinket statue, with Marisha, Travis, and Gil trying to pick its nose.]

MARISHA: Twinket!

MATT: Yay, Twinket!

BRIAN: Twinket!

TRAVIS: Yeah!

MARISHA: Twinket!

BRIAN: He’s shielding his eyes from a blacklight.

[Back to focusing on the group.]

MATT: For the record, you ever heard the sound a grizzly bear makes?

TRAVIS: No.

MATT: Fuckin’ weird.

TRAVIS: [guffaws]

MATT: You think grizzly bear, you hear the sounds they make in movies, and there’s like one or two good, like, audio clips of grizzly bears and most of them are like [makes grizzly bear sounds that sound ridiculous] and you’re like, “...what?! Really?!”

TRAVIS: Yeah, yeah, I gotta drop the bass on that thing.

MATT: Yeah, man.

TRAVIS: [imitates the noises Matt made]

MATT: That’s nature fuckin’ with you. Anyway. Sorry. It’s your show. Hi.

BRIAN: They had the guy who did, uh, they had the guy who did Chunk do the--

[all laughing]

TRAVIS: [imitating Sloth from Goonies] Heyyyy youu guyyyys!

ASHLEY: [imitating Sloth from Goonies] Hey you guyyyyys!

BRIAN: Well, Ashley’s here.

[all greeting Ashley with excitement]

ASHLEY: Hello!

BRIAN: She’s sharing the chair with me.

MATT: You’re a cute couple.

MARISHA: I love it.

BRIAN: How are you?

ASHLEY: [through laughter] I’m great, how are you?

[all laughing]

TRAVIS: Y’all look like you’re on a carnival ride for kids.

[all laughing]

MATT: And she wants her friend to give her an out right now so bad.

BRIAN: Put your hands up. [imitates throwing hands in the air as if on a roller coaster]

[all making “Wee!” noises]

BRIAN: Um. Okay. Question for all, but especially Matt.

MATT: Oh god.

TRAVIS: So, just Matt.

BRIAN: What has been the best/worst... [Ashley starts giggling, then he starts singing to Ashley] Sometimes when we touch…

ASHLEY: Noooo.

BRIAN: ...she screams “No.”

ASHLEY: [mock protesting] Don’t do it!

BRIAN: What has been the best/worst or most unusual or most hilarious or most foul thing shouted just before the stream starts?

[all going “Ohhhhh!”]

TRAVIS: Great fuckin’ question.

BRIAN: Liam is very good.

MATT: Liam is very good.

BRIAN: Sam is very good.

MATT: Everyone else has caught onto it, which is really frustrating. What about, what are your guys’ answers?

TRAVIS: I usually say, like, kitty nipples or like, uh, skittle farts, or chuckle nut, chuckle balls. It’s an inspiration thing, it has to strike you at the right time.

MARISHA: There’s been, like, weird ones, normally based off of the beasts we’re about to fight, like tentacle taint or, yeah, y’know.

TRAVIS: I went with “grape nuts” one time.

MARISHA: [continuing] Yeah, illithid scrote… [talking with Gil in the background]

BRIAN: Grape nuts?!

TRAVIS: Grape nuts! Yeah, grape nuts I think actually got Mercer pretty good, ‘cause... fuckin’ ...grape nuts.

BRIAN: Grape nuts.

MATT: Yeah, grape nuts. The one that got me once--it got me because I could see it too viscerally in my head was like, dangly wrinkled goblin grundle?

[all laughing]

MATT: And my imagination went way too visceral and legitimate in my mind and I went “Hohh... welcome to Critical Role?” Like, I’m sure whatever episode it was…

TRAVIS: Your entire [inaudible] right in front of you.

MATT: Yeah, no, no, you can see like my whole body tense up as I’m like, “Mmm, I’m rejecting that image!”

TRAVIS: Rejecting! [chuckling]

BRIAN: If the stream comes on and Matt does one of these... [imitates Matt tilting his head in reaction to the off-screen taunting]

TRAVIS: Yeah!

ASHLEY: Yeah!

MATT: Yep.

BRIAN: ...they got him.

MATT: Yep.

TRAVIS: It was a good one.

ASHLEY: It was a good one.

BRIAN: Uh, Travis.

TRAVIS: Yep.

BRIAN: Between Umbracyl... Oom-brussle?

TRAVIS: Oom-brussle!

ASHLEY: Oooom-bruh-seal.

MATT: Oom-bruh-seal!

TRAVIS: Ooooom-bruh-SEAL!

BRIAN: ...and the kraken and any other I’m forgetting…

TRAVIS: Crack-EN.

BRIAN: ...is Grog going to develop a hatred, or worse a fear, of small, enclosed, warm places?

[all going “ohhhhh” and laughing]

TRAVIS: You know, Grog hand a fondness for those small, enclosed, warm places…

MATT: Actually, you weren’t swallowed by Umbracyl, you were swallowed by the Fey croc, the Feymire crocodile.

TRAVIS: That’s right, yeah, in the live show.

MATT: In the Feywild. Yeah.

MARISHA: Oh, that’s right.

TRAVIS: Yeah, I got chomped, I got chomped for sure. No fear. Grog’s got no fear because you’d have to have an intelligence to recognize the peril of your surroundings to develop a fear. I usually get swallowed and I’m like, “This is nice!”

MATT: So what you’re saying is your DeviantArt is filled with vore art now. Is that what’s going on?

[all making grossed-out sounds]

TRAVIS: Pretty much.

MATT: Good, great. Sorry, the internets ruined me a long time ago.

TRAVIS: Yeah, I can tell.

BRIAN: Ozzy Stern... wants to know.

MATT: Yes?

TRAVIS: Good pause.

BRIAN: Matt and the crew...

TRAVIS: Asshole.

BRIAN: ‘Cause you don’t know what the hell I’m talking about.

TRAVIS: Ozzy Stern [looks at watch and pauses dramatically] wants to know.

[all laughing]

BRIAN: Has the dragon vodka been drunk after the death of the Conclave and what did it taste like?

MARISHA: Wait, have we opened that yet?

MATT: The dragon vodka, we did. We had the dragon vodka and then we had the Arkenstone wine.

MARISHA: The wine, right.

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: The wine was incredible.

MATT: It [the vodka] was harsh.

MARISHA: The wine was so good.

MATT: I’m a vodka fan myself, as far as like drinks go like vodka and rum are the two of my choice and the vodka was really, really good.

BRIAN: I like, uh… vodka, too. I’m sorry, Travis.

TRAVIS: I know. I’m waiting.

MATT: God dammit.

BRIAN: Hey guys.

MATT: The dragon vodka was really cool. For those who didn’t know, it was a gift from a critter that sent this amazing bottle of vodka that had like gold flakes in it and it had like a glass dragon inside the bottle.

ASHLEY: Whoa.

MATT: It was absurd!

MARISHA: The gold flakes.

MATT: So thank you again!

MARISHA: I loved that on the back it said that it was like artisan infused with premium 24 carat gold flakes and I was like, “Baaaack the fuck out.”

TRAVIS: Artisan.

MATT: I was hoping that it was infused with actual artisans.

MARISHA: Yeah!

MATT: They just like distilled it from their bodies.

TRAVIS: That’d be better.

MATT: Yeah.

BRIAN: I can get you some of that.

MATT: Of course you--you can, Brian.

BRIAN: I know a guy. Goes by the name @GilTheVlogsmith. Travis, I have a question... we hope this is for you.

TRAVIS: Yeah, oh shit.

BRIAN: What would Grog do with a 20 Intelligence for 24 hours?

TRAVIS: I have no idea. I don’t know.

BRIAN: You have to have fantasized about it.

TRAVIS: Nope.

BRIAN: Asleep in your---

TRAVIS: No, that would take forethought and like planning and I don’t do either of those things with my character. I have no idea. I don’t know. I don’t know. I’m not sure. It’d depend on my mood that day. He could either be like a very benign, very helpful individual, right? He might try and, like, I don’t know. Build a better rocketship.

MARISHA: Better rocketship?

TRAVIS: Yeah. I want to visit that moon!

GIL: Grog with like a snifter. [in a high-class voice] “Oh yes, of course, why don’t you…”

BRIAN: He becomes all pretentious!

MATT: “I am the Grand Poobah of Thisnthat, yes.”

TRAVIS: I would probably try to go into Percy’s workshop and build something.

BRIAN: Yeah, but then they would find you in like Percy’s house, though, several hours later after having 20 Intelligence and you would be like “Come to the piano and hear an original composition.”

[all laughing]

MATT: And then this slow zoom on Percival as he starts crying listening to it.

[all laughing]

TRAVIS: That’s true!

ASHLEY: Make it happen!

BRIAN: Hey Ashley.

MATT: Grogless Strongjawess.

ASHLEY: Yeah!

MARISHA: Ashley!

ASHLEY: That’s me!

MARISHA: Hi!

BRIAN: This question is from Adonis.

ASHLEY: Oh!

BRIAN: Do you and Matt ever do one-on-ones... to figure out--

[all laughing]

ASHLEY: All the time.

BRIAN: Now be very careful about how you answer this.

MATT: Not here, Ashley.

BRIAN: Do you and Matt--wait, one-on-ones like on The Bachelor where they get a one-on-one date?

ASHLEY: A one-on-one date.

MATT: Yeah.

BRIAN: Do you guys ever do that? One-on-one dates where Pike is, uh, where you figure out what Pike is doing whenever she’s away?

MATT: I would if she wasn’t all the time on Blindspot.

BRIAN: I know.

MATT: I know. She’s busy being a TV star. And we discuss it--

ASHLEY: I wish we could.

MATT: We discuss it when you come back.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MATT: We’ll talk about what you’ve been up to and how to tie it back into the story, but y’know, schedules are a pain in the butt.

ASHLEY: Yeah. I think when we had our home games I remember sometimes when I would miss, we did a coup--well, we did one--

MATT: Yeah, we did a one-on-one once, then we did one with you and Liam.

TRAVIS: That’s right, it was just the two of you guys.

ASHLEY: Yes.

MATT: Yeah.

ASHLEY: And then...

TRAVIS: And it was, like, brutal, right? Yeah.

ASHLEY: It was intense.

MATT: Yeah, you guys had to fight a chimaera.

ASHLEY: ‘Cause you don’t have as many people to go around to think about what you’re going to do, you’re just always like “Uh, okay, I’ll do this, I’ll do this.” And then we also did one, Sam, Liam, and I.

MATT: Yeah.

ASHLEY: But that was sort of learning... after Pathfinder when we switched over to see…?

MATT: We hadn’t switched over yet, that was still in Pathfinder. That was towards the end of the pre-stream era.

ASHLEY: Okay, yeah. So--

MATT: ‘Cause the rest of the party had fallen beneath Emon--

TRAVIS: And you were catching up.

ASHLEY: Yes, we were catching up.

MATT: --in the Crystalfen Caverns. Yeah.

ASHLEY: So that was basically the only times we’ve gotten to do... it was more like a two-on-one date.

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Even more exciting.

[Matt laughs]

ASHLEY: And neither of us went home.

BRIAN: Everybody got a rose.

ASHLEY: Yes, even more exciting.

MATT: Everybody got arosed.

TRAVIS: One more Bachelor reference…

BRIAN: Everybody got arosed!

ASHLEY: Oh shit!

BRIAN: Stay turnt! About to get arosed!

[all laughing]

BRIAN: Do you know where that’s from?

ASHLEY: That’s the best.

BRIAN: I’ll tell you later. Ashley.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

BRIAN: Johnny Bane 0415 wants to know--

ASHLEY: Okay. Hey Johnny.

BRIAN: How would Pike take the news of the party leaving Grog behind if he had been swallowed and dead in the kraken?

ASHLEY: I don’t even wanna--

TRAVIS: Clammed up.

ASHLEY: That would’ve been a bad... that would’ve been a bad idea.

MARISHA: Yeah. “Where’s Grog?”

ASHLEY & MARISHA: “Wellllllll…”

BRIAN: Yeah.

ASHLEY: I think she would’ve pulled a Scanlan.

MATT: He died as he lived…

TRAVIS: Oh yeah?

MARISHA: Really?

MATT: ...inside a giant fish?

ASHLEY: I think Pike would’ve pulled Scanlan--

GIL: In tight spaces?

MARISHA: And been like “peace”?

ASHLEY: And then just go like live under the sea until she found him.

TRAVIS: [singing] Under da Sea.

ASHLEY: And then like save his body ‘til she levels up, keeps his body in a bag of colding until she levels up and gets True Resurrection, even if it’s like hundreds of years, and then she would’ve resurrected him.

TRAVIS: [cute speak] Oh that’s the sweetest, most wonderful answer evah!

ASHLEY: Oh Grog!

TRAVIS: I love it! Pikey poo! [normal voice] That kraken is so lucky that they didn’t leave me behind. That’d be one dead tuna shell, man.

MARISHA: Oh my god, that would’ve been nuts!

ASHLEY: So drivel.

MARISHA: ‘Cause then you would’ve gone back and you would have either tried to get Grog out and died or like killed the kraken and still doomed my people!

TRAVIS: Yep.

ASHLEY: Wait, so if the kraken gets killed…

TRAVIS: Uh huh…

ASHLEY: That... your people... the kraken can’t be killed.

MATT: The logistics of it are that these krakens that exist on the water elemental plane, one of their waste products is these lodestones. These, like, concentrated magic, kinda similar to the whitestone--

TRAVIS: They poop pearls.

MATT: Yeah, kind of. Like, magnetic pearls. And they’re utilized to both maintain a very tight closure around the rift into the water elemental plane beneath Vesrah and they also maintain the capability of the temple and the reef to keep the city up. If those were, as they wane over time from power, the rift begins to open and the reef begins to sink and it all begins to condense inward, which would sink the entire city, which would open the rift and allow the kraken or other such creatures to begin to then spill out into the prime material plane.

TRAVIS: Meh, semantics.

MATT: So it’s--

BRIAN: Sounds fine.

MARISHA: No big.

MATT: Yeah. It’s an ecological circle.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: They rely on the circle. They rely on the kraken, but they must keep it outside of the rift, but they cannot kill it, but they have to be careful of it, and they lose waverunners all the time to it. They only have to go back once every like four or five years to try it. And, to be perfectly honest, if you guys had probably, things had gotten really bad and you shouted back into the portal like “We need help!” they probably would’ve sent people to come help.

GIL: Oh shit, really?

MARISHA: Really?

MATT: Yeah.

MARISHA: Oh.

BRIAN: Oh lord have Mercer, don’t tell them that after the fact!

MARISHA: I know!

MATT: It’s so much fun to tell after the fact, though!

BRIAN: Marisha, Marisha.

MARISHA: Yeah. Yes. Brian. Foster.

BRIAN: Blue Chibi wants to know…

MARISHA: Blue Chibi?

BRIAN: How does it feel to not be a part of the “I died” Club?

TRAVIS: [doing a voice] Blue chibi!

BRIAN: Do you feel left out and do you want to join?

MARISHA: No. It feels wonderful. It feels like privilege. It’s nice.

MATT: You’re the only one.

MARISHA: I am the only one.

TRAVIS: We can totally fix that.

MATT: I have to try twice as hard to kill you now.

ASHLEY: Wait, you’re the only one that has--

TRAVIS: Hasn’t died.

MARISHA: I haven’t died.

TRAVIS: I think--

BRIAN: I promise I will never die.

TRAVIS: --we gotta complete the circle, right? We should just kill her the second--

MARISHA: Suicide pact?

ASHLEY: Oh my god, you’re right!

MATT: And there’s a reason for that. [mockingly] Because she’s my fiancee and I give her special treatment.

[all laughing]

BRIAN: Oh yeah, we all know about that.

MARISHA: Don’t even say that in jest, ‘cause they’ll--no.

MATT: They’ve been shouting that shit from the beginning and the know that’s not true.

BRIAN: No, everybody knows that’s not true because go back and watch the moment she fell in the lava and you will see--

MARISHA: That’s true. That’s true.

BRIAN: --Matt trying not to--

MATT: No, no, we’ve had conversations about alternate characters if that were to happen. Trust me, trust me, if I was giving her special treatment… I wouldn’t be sleeping on the couch as often.

[Travis laughing]

BRIAN: Nobody’s invincible.

MARISHA: Don’t say that either! They think that too!

[all laughing]

BRIAN: That’s true! That’s true.

MARISHA: They think all of these things!

MATT: No, you’re right, you’re right. That doesn’t happen.

TRAVIS: They all think that Laura and I are half the time on the couch. And we never are.

MARISHA: Same here.

MATT: We enjoy their narrative, it’s fine.

MARISHA: You’re like “...no.” We drive home and we’re like “Have you heard this new song?”

TRAVIS: We’re eating Taco Bell on the way home.

MATT: Yeah, that’s basically us, too!

MARISHA: There’s always Taco Bell!

MATT: Always Taco Bell ‘cause that’s what’s up.

MARISHA: It’s the best.

TRAVIS: Only thing that’s open.

ASHLEY: So good, man.

MARISHA: Kind of food. Not food.

MATT: Loosely food.

BRIAN: Travis, Pale Archer--

TRAVIS: Sup, Art.

BRIAN: You seemed extremely calm for only having eight hit points at the end. What was going through your mind? Was it “This is a beast--” Nope! Was it a “This beast is the strongest thing ever so I’m okay if it kills me” kind of thing?

TRAVIS: Mm.

[long pause]

TRAVIS: Is there more to that question?

BRIAN: Because I put my thumb out? I was counting how many times it took me to aks [sic] it correctly.

[all laughing]

BRIAN: That’s why I do that. I go “Here we go, I get five of these before I have to move on to another question.”

TRAVIS: It threw me! Uh... I’m just a stone-cold motherfucker, y’know? Nothing shakes me. No.

ASHLEY: Stone Cold!

TRAVIS: I know. When I got to the door--

BRIAN: You sounded very tough. You sound like a great hype man.

TRAVIS: [imitating Ashley] “Stone Cold!”

ASHLEY: Stone Cold!

TRAVIS: When Percy cast Friends, there was a little wrinkle in my visage ‘cause I was like, “Oh, I was ready to go, ‘cause I got--Daddy got almost single digits in hit points. I’m gonna go get him--”

BRIAN: You call yourself Daddy?

TRAVIS: Yeah, yeah.

[all laughing]

TRAVIS: Yeah, “Daddy--Daddy gotta go get--”

BRIAN: I’m just making sure talking about you still.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: To be fair, that's his character background.

TRAVIS: “Daddy gotta go get Tary.” And then I got back and Mercer’s like “You get almost to the portal,” and I’m like just sitting there with this asshole going like “...cool!” Taliesin goes, “Well, I come and get them,” and Matt’s like, “You can get Tary,” and I was like “...sure! This’ll be fuckin’ great!” [slurping noises] “There we go, we’re back in here again.” And if I didn't manage to puke myself out, that was, that was bruschetta.

MATT: Yeah. Which is why I tweeted the picture of the saving throw.

MARISHA: Bruschetta.

MATT: ‘Cause it wa like, you need-- if it’d rolled a ten or higher, you’d’ve been stuck in there. I rolled an ine and I’m like “No one’s gonna fuckin’ believe this.”

TRAVIS: Yeah!

MATT: I have to tweet out rolls now ‘cause people are like “Oh, there’s no fuckin’ way!” And I post it and like “See?” and they go “...there’s no fuckin way!” and I’m like “Alright, whatever.”

TRAVIS: And plus it’s also once one person’s dead, it’s easier--I feel like it’s easier to join the dead--like, the list of dead people. If you’re the first one you’re like “I don’t wanna be the first!” but if Vax is already dead I’m like, “Hey! Dead homies!”

BRIAN: Dead homies!

MARISHA: We’ve never had to go through like a ritual resurrection process with you. It’s just always been a quick Revivify.

TRAVIS: Right.

MARISHA: Right? We’ve gotten you in time.

TRAVIS: Mm-hmm.

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Yep.

MARISHA: Are we the only ones though that haven’t gone through rituals?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

GIL: With the um, what was that, the sword, Craven Edge.

BRIAN: Craven Edge, yeah.

GIL: Wasn’t that still a--

MATT: We did a very quick ritual.

TRAVIS: Oh it was a ritual, yeah.

MATT: I was still figuring out the rules for the time. I was learning how to adjust the resurrection process.

MARISHA: Oh, that’s right. That’s right.

TRAVIS: ‘Cause we did it right then and there outside of the cave.

MATT: I hadn’t considered Revivify and the process at that point, so I was trying something out.

TRAVIS: Right.

MARISHA: Right.

MATT: I’ve since honed it.

TRAVIS: Now it’s just you. You just have to die.

BRIAN: Thank god.

MARISHA: Last man standing!

TRAVIS: Flatliner.

MARISHA: What’s up!

BRIAN: Flatliner.

MARISHA: Flatliner.

TRAVIS: You’re the only one has to take the journey.

MATT: It’s true.

TRAVIS: How do you want to go?

MARISHA: How do I want to go?

TRAVIS: Poison?

BRIAN: How do you want to die this?

TRAVIS: Bludgeoning? [in an accent] How do you want to die dis?

BRIAN: How d’ye der de der dis.

MARISHA: I don’t know, like I said, being eaten by a kraken would’ve been epic.

TRAVIS: Yep. And permanent.

MARISHA: My biggest fear was that I was gonna trip and faceplant in lava. And then that happened. So as long as it’s not embarrassing--

GIL: Bucket list.

MARISHA: Yeah!

MATT: Valid point.

TRAVIS: That was the best description

MARISHA: ‘cause nothing’s worse than dying from something completely unrelated to the circumstances that are actually going on.

MATT: Well, it’s like can you imagine the actual funeral? “We will remember her as a wonderful lively friend who gave her life... uh... well she lost her life… she was fuckin’ clumsy. It really sucked. We’re sorry.”

MARISHA: She could control weather, but--

TRAVIS: Fell face-first.

MARISHA: --those slippy embankments. Gotta be careful of those!

MATT: Perhaps we should’ve bought her shoes with better tread!

GIL: Boat shoes?

MARISHA: Boat shoes! “Had those boat shoes come sooner--”

MATT: Been there this whole time!

BRIAN: Keyleth died doing what she loved: a series of errors.

[all laughing]

TRAVIS: Amazing.

MARISHA: Fucking failing.

BRIAN: Hey Ashley.

ASHLEY: Oh god. Yeah?

BRIAN: Undercover Goth…

ASHLEY: Yes?

TRAVIS: Is that Taliesin?

MARISHA: That’s his protege.

ASHLEY: He’s not undercover.

TRAVIS: No, he’s not undercover, you’re right.

BRIAN: I think it’s undercover, then out-there-in-the-open, then executive--he’s sort of the--

TRAVIS: Executive Goth, yeah.

MARISHA: He’s like the goth mafia.

BRIAN: He’s like the guy over there petting the cat, y’know? He’s the evil executive.

MATT: Yeah, like there’s fuckin “weird travestite” and then there’s “executive transvestite.”

BRIAN: Yeah. Eddie Izzard. Correct. That’s the correct pronunciation. Ashley! Undercover Goth--

ASHLEY: Mm-hmm?

BRIAN: I just watched four--fuuh--I just watched--

[?Denise? laughing off-screen]

BRIAN: --Force Grey this weekend, where you also played a cleric. Would you ever play a--don’t read--I’m reading it to you!

ASHLEY: I’m sorry, I’m sorry! It’s in front of me so it’s hard not to read it!

BRIAN: Would you ever play a different class or do you love clerics so much? Also, you’re very beautiful up close.

ASHLEY: Thank you! So much.

MARISHA: Awww.

TRAVIS: Gross.

BRIAN: Never really get this close.

[all laughing]

GIL: Just Skype.

BRIAN: We sleep like Dick Van Dyke in that show, y’know?

TRAVIS: Two different beds? I Love Lucy?

BRIAN: There’s one for all you youngsters, though. Anyway. Clerics?

TRAVIS: [laughing] Dick Van Dyke.

ASHLEY: We had, for Force Grey, we had kind of, I was thinking maybe I was gonna play something different, but I think when we had all talked about it, they were like “Just play a cleric,” because there wasn’t one in the group yet?

MATT: Yeah.

ASHLEY: I can’t remember.

MATT: The folks at Wizard were like “Hey! She plays a cleric really well. We need somebody who knows what they’re doing. Can she play a cleric again?” Was kind of what it came down to.

ASHLEY: Yes.

MATT: Because a lot of the players hadn’t played the game before.

ASHLEY: And I was actually okay with it because I still sometimes feel very inexperienced in this game, so I think I wanted, since that was gonna be something that was gonna be recorded, well it’s something that I kind of already know how to do. And I think with that group, I had the most experience, I was like “Uh oh.”

MATT: Yep!

ASHLEY: But it was great. I mean, you can play it even if you don’t have experience, it’s awesome. But I would like to play something else. I have been prepping another character.

MATT: Next campaign.

TRAVIS: You have?

ASHLEY: For our next campaign, yeah, so I’ve been thinking about... I have a name. I have... some things figured out. Um, and I’m excited. I don’t--I’m not putting it out there.

MARISHA: No, you can’t.

MATT: Keep it under wraps.

MARISHA: None of us have.

BRIAN: Don’t put it out there now.

ASHLEY: Pike is gonna be old and gray and, y’know, die in her sleep.

TRAVIS: I have no idea.

GIL: Pike the Second is what it is.

ASHLEY: It’s Pike the Second. Real original. But yes, I would like to play another class.

BRIAN: I’ll let Undercover Goth know.

TRAVIS: I’m gonna play a Paladin named Greg.

MARISHA: Yo, Greg.

GIL: Grog’s cousin?

TRAVIS: Yep.

MARISHA: Yeah!

BRIAN: Here we go. Last question. [long pause] Hold on, where’d it go.

[all laughing]

BRIAN: Ashley, Marisha, Travis, Gil: a Wish spell goes awry and the world turns into a Super genre RPG. What are your characters’ superhero names?

MARISHA: In real life?

BRIAN: In real life.

TRAVIS: Arse Queef.

BRIAN: The world turns into a Super genre RPG.

GIL: The Void.

BRIAN: The Void! Gil the Voidsmith!

MARISHA: I have to go with Calamity Ray.

TRAVIS: Oh, that’s good.

BRIAN: Calamity Ray.

ASHLEY: Oh, god, that’s good. Okay, so we’re doing our own names.

MARISHA: Yeah. Playa name.

TRAVIS: Oh sit.

BRIAN: Tarvis?

TRAVIS: I’ll take my Xbox user gamertag.

BRIAN & TRAVIS: Meaty Albatross.

BRIAN: It means Willingham.

TRAVIS: Yep. I didn’t pick it for any fuckin’ reason other than that it was a suggestion and it looked stupid as hell.

ASHLEY: Oh, it was a suggestion?!

BRIAN: It was a suggestion! At a con or something, wasn’t it?

TRAVIS: No, like a previous username of mine, they were like you can’t, you can’t have that name.

BRIAN: Oh! ‘Cause that one was inapp-- yeah, that one was.

TRAVIS: It was a no-no. So they sent me like three suggestions--

MATT: What was your previous name?

TRAVIS: So my last name is Willingham and in my--in a drunken night of stupor I came up with “Raped Bacon.”

MATT: Oh wow!

GIL: Oh my god.

TRAVIS: Instead of, like, “Willing Ham.”

MARISHA: “Willing Ham!”

TRAVIS: But it was great, because--

BRIAN: I did not think he was going to say that!

MARISHA: Holy shit.

GIL: Holy shit.

TRAVIS: So they came up with like Velvet Octopus 83, something else, and then Meaty Albatross.

ASHLEY: [laughing] Velvet Octopus.

MATT: Meaty Albatross was the--

TRAVIS: That one. That one. It’s so stupid.

MATT: Meaty Albatross is a pretty great name in general. Good band name. Good app name.

TRAVIS: Yeah, it is. It’s good.

MATT: New on iOS, Meaty Albatross.

TRAVIS: Yeah. And my superhero character will obviously have to have wings or something. And meat.

MATT: Very thick wings.

TRAVIS: Lot of, just--

MATT: Wings fuckin’ ripped.

TRAVIS: Giant ripped-out wings, but I’m like Ichabod Crane.

MARISHA: Instead of feathers, it’s just like bacon.

TRAVIS: Yeah!

MATT: Ashley, what’s yours?

MARISHA: So you’re saying in the future you want to be the pig that flies?

TRAVIS: I’m okay with that.

MARISHA: That’s pretty great.

TRAVIS: It works.

BRIAN: The Void, Calamity Ray, Meaty Albatross…

ASHLEY: Gosh, I’m not good at thinking of these types of things!

BRIAN: Yes you are, you just need time. And we’ve got it, baby. Just kidding, we’re out of time.

MARISHA: Just kidding, we’re out of time!

[all laughing]

BRIAN: Max is over there like [makes wrap it up motion]. [To Matt] Do you have one?

MATT: I wasn’t asked the question.

ASHLEY: Yeah, you were.

MATT: I specifically wasn’t.

ASHLEY: You were not, but what would yours be?

MATT: Doesn’t matter, I wasn’t asked the question. That’s all we have for tonight folks.

MARISHA: Ohhh!

TRAVIS: Beautiful.

BRIAN: Toss to the next thing. What’s after us?

MATT: Uh.

ASHLEY: Oh, do it!

BRIAN: Nine PM.

MATT: Why is this my question?!

BRIAN: You just, you took over the show and decided to toss--end the show. You said that’s all the time we have. Tell them what’s next.

MARISHA: So now you have to.

ASHLEY: Do it! Do it!

BRIAN: Tell them what’s next. It’s right there.

MATT: Okay. [bewildered voice] Hey guys. Thanks so much for watching--

BRIAN: [responding to someone off screen] What? No, but it’s, we’re telling them to go back to Twitch. Give me that.

MATT: NO! IT’S MY SHOW! [bewildered voice again] Go back to Twitch and then at 9pm, there’ll be AXYB coming up at 9pm on Twitch after this show. Thank you for watching. [starts chewing on the card]

TRAVIS: I don’t know.

MARISHA: That was so good.

TRAVIS: That was rough.

MARISHA: Good at worldbuilding.

ASHLEY: Like a little kid.

MARISHA: You know what?

MARISHA: You’re good at worldbuilding.

GIL: What are words?

ASHLEY: What do I mean in these words?

TRAVIS: Just keep growing your hair.

BRIAN: Still better than the first episode of this show.

MATT: Oh yeah, well.

BRIAN: That’s all the time we have for tonight folks. What should we do? Should we read a bedtime story?

ASHLEY: Yeah!

BRIAN: Should we stay here? Should we go?

TRAVIS: There once was a mouse. He died.

ASHLEY: We could go.

BRIAN: Well guys. Guess this is a perfect time to announce...AXYB is back. Go over to Twitch and watch them now. We love you. Good night!

[all cheering]

22 notes · View notes

strivesy · 7 years ago

Text

5 Ideas to Change Teaching with Digital Tools

Meg Ormiston on episode 270 of the 10-Minute Teacher Podcast

From the Cool Cat Teacher Blog by Vicki Davis

Follow @coolcatteacher on Twitter

In today’s show, Meg Ormiston gives us an idea for each of the 5 C’s: creativity, collaboration, communication, critical thinking, and computational thinking.

Advancement Courses has more than 200 graduate level online professional development courses for K-12 teachers. You can take these courses for continuing education, salary advancement, or recertification. They are practical courses that have teachers developing tangible resources to use in their classrooms immediately. Go to advancementcourses.com/coolcat and use the code COOL20 at checkout to get 20% off any course. With this coupon, a 3 grad credit course is only $359.

Listen Now

Listen to the show on iTunes or Stitcher

Stream by clicking here.

***

Enhanced Transcript

5 Ideas to Change Teaching with Digital Tools

Link to show: http://ift.tt/2DcdCzO Date: Friday, March 9, 2018

Vicki: I’m so excited. We have Meg Ormiston @megormi with us today.

She’s been in education or 33 years, but for 21 years she’s been helping so many of us with our professional development, keynoting our conferences, speaking, and encouraging us to really use technology in the classroom.

And she does have a series of books that we’ll mention here in a moment.

But today we’re going to talk about five ideas to change teaching with digital tools.

So, Meg, what is our first idea today?

Meg: Awesome! Vicki, I am so happy to be here. This is so fun.

OK. We’re going to talk about the five C’s today:

Creativity

Collaboration

Communication

Critical Thinking, and

Computational Thinking

Creativity

I just went to a presentation of one of my co-authors last week, and she presented about how she does her green screen. And it was so creative, I couldn’t believe it. She’s in a K-2 building? She sprayed the inside of pizza boxes with green screen paint, and she used the little Starbucks stirrers. The kids made characters, and they do retellings of stories as they move the characters around. (laughs)

Vicki: (laughs)

Wow, So then they can cut out the background and then put them anywhere, huh?

Meg: It is SO CUTE.

And people are like, “How did you do this?”

We had to stop the whole workshop! (laughs) It was so fun!

But what I really love about Melissa is that she ties every single lesson she does — like that green screen lesson — to an ISTE standard and she ties it to an ELA standard. And that’s posted right in the room so everyone knows it’s not just fluff, it’s embedded into the curriculum.

So that’s my #1 for today. Love that one.

Vicki: Ohhhh, that is awesome. How cute!

OK, what’s our second?

Collaboration

Meg: OK. Collaboration. And I’ll have to tell you… this is so funny. I just wrote a series of five books with 26 practicing educators.

Vicki: Wow.

Meg: Crazy. Yeah. Not easy. It was like herding cats. It was nuts. But it was so funny.

They’d come to my house, and they would write, and I would cook them dinner.

Each day, they’d kind of spread out around the house.

And one night the high school teachers were at the island, and the K-2 teachers were at the kitchen table.

And I was doing something, and all of a sudden, I was doing something, and one of the high school teachers goes, “They can do THAT? In kindergarten?”

Vicki: (laughs)

Meg: What are we doing? They just couldn’t believe that the young kids could do this. And so what’s so cool on this collaboration piece of that one, is that that kindergarten teacher is now partnering with the high school.

They’re actually different districts, but they’re across the street. The high school students walked down the street, and they did an afternoon STEM collaboration.

Vicki: Oh, I love it! Multiage collaboration is just so incredible, and the hallmark of what I do in my own classroom. I love that!

What’s next?

Communication

Meg: Communication. I love to tell the story of Bill Ferriter’s http://sugarkills.us/

Do you know that project?

Vicki: No! Tell us!

Meg: Oh my gosh. It’s great!

I think it’s been going on for about four years. His kids… I think it might have slowed down a bit. But they have a http://sugarkills.us/ blog.

About 4-5 years ago, Bill brought in a news article about the ban of soda. The big soda in New York City.

Vicki: (agrees)

Meg: And he was just thinking it was a quick activity. And the kids started really getting into it, and figuring out how much sugar is really in the food that they’re eating. And they started to blog about it. It went on for years! I do believe that it’s on its fifth year.

Vicki: Wow.

Meg: But the cool part was that they were communicating all over the globe. If you look at their cluster map, it’s AMAZING how many people they are reaching.

And this was so funny… one day, I was in Houston, Texas, speaking.

I got a text from Bill, and he said, “My class wants to know if you are in Houston, Texas.”

Vicki: (laughs)

Meg: Because when I speak, and I talk about their awesome story, they watch me on their cluster map, and they guess where I am. I feel like I’m being tracked!

Vicki: (laughs) I love that! Kids are so engaged and understand how modern communication works with a virtual audience. Wow, that’s awesome!

What’s our fourth?

Critical Thinking

Meg: OK, critical thinking. I believe, and I love this quote, and I’m giving all the credit to Chris Lehmann, principal of the Science Leadership Academy.

This is his quote that he let me use, “If you assign a project and get back thirty of the exact same thing, that’s not a project. That’s a recipe.”

Vicki: Mmmmmm.

Meg: And I love that. You know, when you walk down the hall of a school, and you just have thirty of the exact same things in a row, and then you go to the next room?

I’m working with a school, and I’m calling it the “Over Rubricked High School.” That’s not even a real word, I think. But these students are super high performing, but all they’re doing is checking boxes on rubrics, and they’re not critically thinking.

And it’s so important to get some creativity into our classrooms, into our projects.

I presented this at a workshop on Friday, and I start by saying, “I’m going to upset some of you. We have to change the projects we’re asking kids to do.”

(Gasps.)

You should have seen the body language!

Vicki: Hmmmm.

Meg: I had fifty people in this room. Ooooooooh! That is not the ____ to make samples. How many poster boards must die from these elementary years?

Ugh. So I am calling it the “Over Rubricked School.”

I think we are “over-rubricking,” and we’re forgetting about the creativity and the critical thinking.

Vicki: Yeah. And you know, I’ve seen some projects that I just call the “Wikipedia Copy Project.”

Meg: Ohhh!

Vicki: Because they’re supposed to do this research, and they’re like, “If I can Google it?”

I mean authentic research? They can’t use… Do something like, “What if Abraham Lincoln and Nelson Mandela had a conversation about modern politics? What would they say?”

They can’t Google that! They have to actually think!

Meg: Exactly! That’s the point.

The school brought me in because they found their kids were graduating like at 98%. But they weren’t finishing college. They didn’t know how to think, because we…

(laughs)

I’m doing a session at ISTE with my son. I’m really excited about that.

“There’s No Rubric For Your First Job”

How about that?

Vicki: Ohhhhh. Love it.

OK, what’s our fifth?

Computational Thinking

Meg: The fifth one is computational thinking.

There, we wrote about coding, all the way through…

So the books go — they’re great books. There’s a K-2, a 3-5, a 6-8, a 9-12, and a leadership book. And we wrote about coding all the way through — starting in kindergarten.

Again, that was something the high school teachers could not believe — truly, could not believe — that the kindergarteners could code.

And it was funny because they were so hung up on, “Where do we put coding in our curriculum?”

Instead of, you know, embracing that we’ve got to (prepare) these kids for the real world. Get them ready with real thinking about future jobs.

So my fifth one is computational thinking.

Vicki: That is so important. And you know, sometimes, it would be nice if we kind of communicated across the board and people could understand that sometimes kindergarteners and first and second and third graders may transfer schools, and they feel like they’re stepping backwards. We’re selling kids short. Just because it’s new to the teacher, doesn’t mean that it’s new to the kids. You know?

Meg: Exactly! And, we’re not going to be able to find enough computer science teachers in our classrooms. We’ve got to figure out how to be able to use our technology to teach this computational thinking. That’s my opinion.

Vicki: We do.

OK, so we have five ideas to change things teaching with digital tools.

Now, Meg, tell us quickly, where we can find some more information about the books?

Meg: OK. Go to Amazon. And please give us a great review. (No, I’m kidding.) (laughs)

But just do “now classroom” Search “now classroom”

And you will see — our website’s http://ift.tt/2p5J7qr

We’re trying to blog. We’re trying to stay on top of things, but I would LOVE to hear what you have to say. Thank you!

Vicki: Awesome! Thank you, Meg!

And keep inspiring educators all around the world. I just find you so exciting and engaging. I appreciate all that you do, because you know all that traveling is not for everybody.

I travel a little bit, but it’s really dedication to travel.

Meg: (laughs)

Vicki: A lot of people want to do it until they start, right?

Meg: Ohhhh… Yeah. I’m going to Singapore next week. It’s 27 hours each way. Ugh!

Vicki: Oh my goodness, no. It’s not for me and my knees.

Well, thank you, educators, for having a listen.

I know that you have some ideas that you can use this weekend as you plan your lessons for Monday!

Transcribed by Kymberli Mulford [email protected]

Bio as submitted

Meg was a classroom teacher, school board president, and now she is an international keynote speaker focused on teaching and learning with digital tools. Meg is also an author of twelve books that include the five book NOW Classrooms series she co-authored with 26 practicing educators.

Twitter: @megormi

Disclosure of Material Connection: This is a “sponsored podcast episode.” The company who sponsored it compensated me via cash payment, gift, or something else of value to include a reference to their product. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I believe will be good for my readers and are from companies I can recommend. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.” This company has no impact on the editorial content of the show.

The post 5 Ideas to Change Teaching with Digital Tools appeared first on Cool Cat Teacher Blog by Vicki Davis @coolcatteacher helping educators be excellent every day. Meow!

5 Ideas to Change Teaching with Digital Tools published first on https://medium.com/@seminarsacademy

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athena29stone · 7 years ago

Text

5 Ideas to Change Teaching with Digital Tools

Meg Ormiston on episode 270 of the 10-Minute Teacher Podcast

From the Cool Cat Teacher Blog by Vicki Davis

Follow @coolcatteacher on Twitter

In today’s show, Meg Ormiston gives us an idea for each of the 5 C’s: creativity, collaboration, communication, critical thinking, and computational thinking.

Listen Now

Listen to the show on iTunes or Stitcher

Stream by clicking here.

***

Enhanced Transcript

5 Ideas to Change Teaching with Digital Tools

Link to show: www.coolcatteacher.com/e270 Date: Friday, March 9, 2018

Vicki: I’m so excited. We have Meg Ormiston @megormi with us today.

And she does have a series of books that we’ll mention here in a moment.

But today we’re going to talk about five ideas to change teaching with digital tools.

So, Meg, what is our first idea today?

Meg: Awesome! Vicki, I am so happy to be here. This is so fun.

OK. We’re going to talk about the five C’s today:

Creativity

Collaboration

Communication

Critical Thinking, and

Computational Thinking

Creativity

Vicki: (laughs)

Wow, So then they can cut out the background and then put them anywhere, huh?

Meg: It is SO CUTE.

And people are like, “How did you do this?”

We had to stop the whole workshop! (laughs) It was so fun!

So that’s my #1 for today. Love that one.

Vicki: Ohhhh, that is awesome. How cute!

OK, what’s our second?

Collaboration

Meg: OK. Collaboration. And I’ll have to tell you… this is so funny. I just wrote a series of five books with 26 practicing educators.

Vicki: Wow.

Meg: Crazy. Yeah. Not easy. It was like herding cats. It was nuts. But it was so funny.

They’d come to my house, and they would write, and I would cook them dinner.

Each day, they’d kind of spread out around the house.

And one night the high school teachers were at the island, and the K-2 teachers were at the kitchen table.

And I was doing something, and all of a sudden, I was doing something, and one of the high school teachers goes, “They can do THAT? In kindergarten?”

Vicki: (laughs)

They’re actually different districts, but they’re across the street. The high school students walked down the street, and they did an afternoon STEM collaboration.

Vicki: Oh, I love it! Multiage collaboration is just so incredible, and the hallmark of what I do in my own classroom. I love that!

What’s next?

Communication

Meg: Communication. I love to tell the story of Bill Ferriter’s http://sugarkills.us/

Do you know that project?

Vicki: No! Tell us!

Meg: Oh my gosh. It’s great!

I think it’s been going on for about four years. His kids… I think it might have slowed down a bit. But they have a http://sugarkills.us/ blog.

About 4-5 years ago, Bill brought in a news article about the ban of soda. The big soda in New York City.

Vicki: (agrees)

Vicki: Wow.

Meg: But the cool part was that they were communicating all over the globe. If you look at their cluster map, it’s AMAZING how many people they are reaching.

And this was so funny… one day, I was in Houston, Texas, speaking.

I got a text from Bill, and he said, “My class wants to know if you are in Houston, Texas.”

Vicki: (laughs)

Meg: Because when I speak, and I talk about their awesome story, they watch me on their cluster map, and they guess where I am. I feel like I’m being tracked!

Vicki: (laughs) I love that! Kids are so engaged and understand how modern communication works with a virtual audience. Wow, that’s awesome!

What’s our fourth?

Critical Thinking

Meg: OK, critical thinking. I believe, and I love this quote, and I’m giving all the credit to Chris Lehmann, principal of the Science Leadership Academy.

This is his quote that he let me use, “If you assign a project and get back thirty of the exact same thing, that’s not a project. That’s a recipe.”

Vicki: Mmmmmm.

Meg: And I love that. You know, when you walk down the hall of a school, and you just have thirty of the exact same things in a row, and then you go to the next room?

And it’s so important to get some creativity into our classrooms, into our projects.

I presented this at a workshop on Friday, and I start by saying, “I’m going to upset some of you. We have to change the projects we’re asking kids to do.”

(Gasps.)

You should have seen the body language!

Vicki: Hmmmm.

Meg: I had fifty people in this room. Ooooooooh! That is not the ____ to make samples. How many poster boards must die from these elementary years?

Ugh. So I am calling it the “Over Rubricked School.”

I think we are “over-rubricking,” and we’re forgetting about the creativity and the critical thinking.

Vicki: Yeah. And you know, I’ve seen some projects that I just call the “Wikipedia Copy Project.”

Meg: Ohhh!

Vicki: Because they’re supposed to do this research, and they’re like, “If I can Google it?”

I mean authentic research? They can’t use… Do something like, “What if Abraham Lincoln and Nelson Mandela had a conversation about modern politics? What would they say?”

They can’t Google that! They have to actually think!

Meg: Exactly! That’s the point.

The school brought me in because they found their kids were graduating like at 98%. But they weren’t finishing college. They didn’t know how to think, because we…

(laughs)

I’m doing a session at ISTE with my son. I’m really excited about that.

“There’s No Rubric For Your First Job”

How about that?

Vicki: Ohhhhh. Love it.

OK, what’s our fifth?

Computational Thinking

Meg: The fifth one is computational thinking.

There, we wrote about coding, all the way through…

So the books go — they’re great books. There’s a K-2, a 3-5, a 6-8, a 9-12, and a leadership book. And we wrote about coding all the way through — starting in kindergarten.

Again, that was something the high school teachers could not believe — truly, could not believe — that the kindergarteners could code.

And it was funny because they were so hung up on, “Where do we put coding in our curriculum?”

Instead of, you know, embracing that we’ve got to (prepare) these kids for the real world. Get them ready with real thinking about future jobs.

So my fifth one is computational thinking.

Vicki: We do.

OK, so we have five ideas to change things teaching with digital tools.

Now, Meg, tell us quickly, where we can find some more information about the books?

Meg: OK. Go to Amazon. And please give us a great review. (No, I’m kidding.) (laughs)

But just do “now classroom” Search “now classroom”

And you will see — our website’s http://nowclassrooms.com/

We’re trying to blog. We’re trying to stay on top of things, but I would LOVE to hear what you have to say. Thank you!

Vicki: Awesome! Thank you, Meg!

And keep inspiring educators all around the world. I just find you so exciting and engaging. I appreciate all that you do, because you know all that traveling is not for everybody.

I travel a little bit, but it’s really dedication to travel.

Meg: (laughs)

Vicki: A lot of people want to do it until they start, right?

Meg: Ohhhh… Yeah. I’m going to Singapore next week. It’s 27 hours each way. Ugh!

Vicki: Oh my goodness, no. It’s not for me and my knees.

Well, thank you, educators, for having a listen.

I know that you have some ideas that you can use this weekend as you plan your lessons for Monday!

Transcribed by Kymberli Mulford [email protected]

Bio as submitted

Twitter: @megormi

The post 5 Ideas to Change Teaching with Digital Tools appeared first on Cool Cat Teacher Blog by Vicki Davis @coolcatteacher helping educators be excellent every day. Meow!

from Cool Cat Teacher BlogCool Cat Teacher Blog http://www.coolcatteacher.com/e270/

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patriciaanderson357-blog · 7 years ago

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5 Ideas to Change Teaching with Digital Tools

Meg Ormiston on episode 270 of the 10-Minute Teacher Podcast

From the Cool Cat Teacher Blog by Vicki Davis

Follow @coolcatteacher on Twitter

In today’s show, Meg Ormiston gives us an idea for each of the 5 C’s: creativity, collaboration, communication, critical thinking, and computational thinking.

Listen Now

Listen to the show on iTunes or Stitcher

Stream by clicking here.

***

Enhanced Transcript

5 Ideas to Change Teaching with Digital Tools

Link to show: www.coolcatteacher.com/e270 Date: Friday, March 9, 2018

Vicki: I’m so excited. We have Meg Ormiston @megormi with us today.

And she does have a series of books that we’ll mention here in a moment.

But today we’re going to talk about five ideas to change teaching with digital tools.

So, Meg, what is our first idea today?

Meg: Awesome! Vicki, I am so happy to be here. This is so fun.

OK. We’re going to talk about the five C’s today:

Creativity

Collaboration

Communication

Critical Thinking, and

Computational Thinking

Creativity

Vicki: (laughs)

Wow, So then they can cut out the background and then put them anywhere, huh?

Meg: It is SO CUTE.

And people are like, “How did you do this?”

We had to stop the whole workshop! (laughs) It was so fun!

So that’s my #1 for today. Love that one.

Vicki: Ohhhh, that is awesome. How cute!

OK, what’s our second?

Collaboration

Meg: OK. Collaboration. And I’ll have to tell you… this is so funny. I just wrote a series of five books with 26 practicing educators.

Vicki: Wow.

Meg: Crazy. Yeah. Not easy. It was like herding cats. It was nuts. But it was so funny.

They’d come to my house, and they would write, and I would cook them dinner.

Each day, they’d kind of spread out around the house.

And one night the high school teachers were at the island, and the K-2 teachers were at the kitchen table.

And I was doing something, and all of a sudden, I was doing something, and one of the high school teachers goes, “They can do THAT? In kindergarten?”

Vicki: (laughs)

They’re actually different districts, but they’re across the street. The high school students walked down the street, and they did an afternoon STEM collaboration.

Vicki: Oh, I love it! Multiage collaboration is just so incredible, and the hallmark of what I do in my own classroom. I love that!

What’s next?

Communication

Meg: Communication. I love to tell the story of Bill Ferriter’s http://sugarkills.us/

Do you know that project?

Vicki: No! Tell us!

Meg: Oh my gosh. It’s great!

I think it’s been going on for about four years. His kids… I think it might have slowed down a bit. But they have a http://sugarkills.us/ blog.

About 4-5 years ago, Bill brought in a news article about the ban of soda. The big soda in New York City.

Vicki: (agrees)

Vicki: Wow.

Meg: But the cool part was that they were communicating all over the globe. If you look at their cluster map, it’s AMAZING how many people they are reaching.

And this was so funny… one day, I was in Houston, Texas, speaking.

I got a text from Bill, and he said, “My class wants to know if you are in Houston, Texas.”

Vicki: (laughs)

Meg: Because when I speak, and I talk about their awesome story, they watch me on their cluster map, and they guess where I am. I feel like I’m being tracked!

Vicki: (laughs) I love that! Kids are so engaged and understand how modern communication works with a virtual audience. Wow, that’s awesome!

What’s our fourth?

Critical Thinking

Meg: OK, critical thinking. I believe, and I love this quote, and I’m giving all the credit to Chris Lehmann, principal of the Science Leadership Academy.

This is his quote that he let me use, “If you assign a project and get back thirty of the exact same thing, that’s not a project. That’s a recipe.”

Vicki: Mmmmmm.

Meg: And I love that. You know, when you walk down the hall of a school, and you just have thirty of the exact same things in a row, and then you go to the next room?

And it’s so important to get some creativity into our classrooms, into our projects.

I presented this at a workshop on Friday, and I start by saying, “I’m going to upset some of you. We have to change the projects we’re asking kids to do.”

(Gasps.)

You should have seen the body language!

Vicki: Hmmmm.

Meg: I had fifty people in this room. Ooooooooh! That is not the ____ to make samples. How many poster boards must die from these elementary years?

Ugh. So I am calling it the “Over Rubricked School.”

I think we are “over-rubricking,” and we’re forgetting about the creativity and the critical thinking.

Vicki: Yeah. And you know, I’ve seen some projects that I just call the “Wikipedia Copy Project.”

Meg: Ohhh!

Vicki: Because they’re supposed to do this research, and they’re like, “If I can Google it?”

I mean authentic research? They can’t use… Do something like, “What if Abraham Lincoln and Nelson Mandela had a conversation about modern politics? What would they say?”

They can’t Google that! They have to actually think!

Meg: Exactly! That’s the point.

The school brought me in because they found their kids were graduating like at 98%. But they weren’t finishing college. They didn’t know how to think, because we…

(laughs)

I’m doing a session at ISTE with my son. I’m really excited about that.

“There’s No Rubric For Your First Job”

How about that?

Vicki: Ohhhhh. Love it.

OK, what’s our fifth?

Computational Thinking

Meg: The fifth one is computational thinking.

There, we wrote about coding, all the way through…

So the books go — they’re great books. There’s a K-2, a 3-5, a 6-8, a 9-12, and a leadership book. And we wrote about coding all the way through — starting in kindergarten.

Again, that was something the high school teachers could not believe — truly, could not believe — that the kindergarteners could code.

And it was funny because they were so hung up on, “Where do we put coding in our curriculum?”

Instead of, you know, embracing that we’ve got to (prepare) these kids for the real world. Get them ready with real thinking about future jobs.

So my fifth one is computational thinking.

Vicki: We do.

OK, so we have five ideas to change things teaching with digital tools.

Now, Meg, tell us quickly, where we can find some more information about the books?

Meg: OK. Go to Amazon. And please give us a great review. (No, I’m kidding.) (laughs)

But just do “now classroom” Search “now classroom”

And you will see — our website’s http://nowclassrooms.com/

We’re trying to blog. We’re trying to stay on top of things, but I would LOVE to hear what you have to say. Thank you!

Vicki: Awesome! Thank you, Meg!

And keep inspiring educators all around the world. I just find you so exciting and engaging. I appreciate all that you do, because you know all that traveling is not for everybody.

I travel a little bit, but it’s really dedication to travel.

Meg: (laughs)

Vicki: A lot of people want to do it until they start, right?

Meg: Ohhhh… Yeah. I’m going to Singapore next week. It’s 27 hours each way. Ugh!

Vicki: Oh my goodness, no. It’s not for me and my knees.

Well, thank you, educators, for having a listen.

I know that you have some ideas that you can use this weekend as you plan your lessons for Monday!

Transcribed by Kymberli Mulford [email protected]

Bio as submitted

Twitter: @megormi

The post 5 Ideas to Change Teaching with Digital Tools appeared first on Cool Cat Teacher Blog by Vicki Davis @coolcatteacher helping educators be excellent every day. Meow!

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fionatlux · 8 years ago

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So maybe you’ve heard about this new pseudo-period drama, Still Star-Crossed, that’s a takeoff on Romeo and Juliet, and you’re wondering what it’s all about! It looks great: incredibly good-looking multiracial cast, stunning locations, just all-around gorgeousness. But the episodes are an hour long, and you’re not sure you want to invest. You wish someone would do a parody-dialogue recap? (I realize this is unlikely, since I feel like the long-form parody-dialogue recap died with LJ, but oh well.) You are in luck! I have decided to recap at least the first few episodes. The first one is a bit slow-going--it’s heavy on exposition and setup--but the show is highly entertaining, and by episode 3, it’s even funny on purpose. Check it out, and if you enjoy, watch the show! It airs on ABC on Saturday nights, and is available on Hulu the day after, I believe. Episode 4 airs this week!

I’ve also reviewed the book it’s based on here. Episode 2 recap is here.

EPISODE 1

In fair Verona where we lay our scene… Two houses, both alike in blah blah blah we know.

Some Gorgeous Cathedrally Interior

[We open with a clandestine, ill-advised wedding. Romeo and Juliet are delighted! Benvolio and Rosaline, accompanying their respective cousins, are… not.]

FRIAR LAURENCE: Look, I also have a bad feeling about this, but orders are orders.

[Wait, what?]

FRIAR LAURENCE: I mean, too many funerals, a wedding is a nice change, yay true love!

ROSALINE & BENVOLIO: *look concerned*

A Deathbed, The Palace

[The elderly prince of Verona is dying. He has wonderful gravitas.]

THE PRINCE: Isabella, make sure that my law eliminating due process for accused murderers is instated. And keep your brother from doing anything stupid. Where is he, anyway?

ESCALUS: I’m here! I’m here! I raced the CGI zoom shot on horseback all the way from Venice!

THE PRINCE: Son, you must keep Montague and Capulet in line. Seriously, if you don’t, you’ll be next.

ESCALUS: It is painfully obvious that I am a sweet boy and in no way equipped to rule a city.

ISABELLA: It is also obvious that, in addition to having great fashion sense and magnificent eyebrows, I am politically savvy and ominously ambitious.

Maison Montague

[CGI zoom! Here we see three BFFs returned home after, presumably, a night of bro times and possibly a secret wedding. They are met by their paterfamilias, who looks like the lovechild of Charles Boyle from Brooklyn Nine Nine and Lucius Malfoy. I immediately christen him Luciles Malfoyle.]

LUCILES MALFOYLE: Welcome back, Romeo, my beloved son! Hi, Mercutio! I made breakfast! BUT NOT FOR YOU, BENVOLIO. Delinquents who break off perfectly good engagements because “oh noes I don’t love her” DON’T DESERVE BREAKFAST.

BENVOLIO: O-okay. I’ll just be over here chewing on a large chunk of irony, then.

A MESSENGER: The Prince is dead! Escalus is in charge!

LUCILES MALFOYLE: I SMELL OPPORTUNITY!

LUCILES MALFOYLE: No, wait, that’s just the stink of bars and prostitutes. Go shower, B.

Casa Capulet

[It’s Giles! Hi, Giles! He is having an Argument of Exposition with Lady Capulet, who looks like a Disney Evil Queen. This is about right, because Rosaline’s sister Livia looks like someone who gets ready in the morning with the help of bluebirds and a trio of singing mice.]

LIVIA: They’re totally going to let us go to the ball!

[Keep dreaming, Livia! A dream is a wish your heart makes!]

GILES: They are our orphaned, impoverished nieces! I feel bad about making them be servants!

LADY CAPULET: They are YOUR nieces and I hate them.

LIVIA: Anyway, I need to go to the ball to meet a rich husband so that I can be happy and you can… join a nunnery? Seriously? I think you are overestimating the amount of free time a nun gets.

ROSALINE: Well, we’re about 200 years too early for Mary Wollstonecraft, so this is the best I can do.

LADY CAPULET: Although it pains me in my soul to say this… you can go to the ball.

LIVIA: YES!!!! No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dream that you wish will come true!

ROSALINE: I am not excited about going to the ball, and even less excited about meeting the prince, but I really love my baby sister.

JULIET: Oh good, you’re all here. I have big news! I… can’t go to the ball because… uh… because…

ROSALINE: Perhaps you’re… really tired?

JULIET: Yes! That’s totally it! I am tired! Sick, even! KTHXBAI!

ROSALINE: Well, at least she has a nice view of the fireworks from her balcony.

[The fireworks are a metaphor. For orgasm. In case you missed it.]

A Fancy Ball, The Palace

[I’m going to start interspersing this with more commentary, because parody dialogue takes a really long time to craft. The Capulets arrive at the ball! What are you two wearing? What are any of you wearing? What century even is it? Livia has puffed sleeves straight out of Anne of Green Gables’s wildest dreams, while Rosaline is rocking a cold shoulder. I know it’s trendy, but it kind of looks like she gave her sleeves to Livia. I don’t even know. Isabella's tiara is nice, though.]

[Montague is also here! The two families snipe at each other! Ooh, a zinger from Giles. Giles: 1, Luciles Malfoyle: 0.]

ISABELLA: Let me catch you up on the Capulet-Montague sitch. It’s bad. And Daddy said--

ESCALUS: Yeah, I know, no trials for murderers, summary execution, blah blah blah.

[Listen to your sister, Escalus, because if this goes anything like the book, pretty soon she's gonna be married off to Hot 1990s Denzel Washington from a different play entirely and then you won't have anybody to advise you on your incredibly stupid plans.] [Spoiler: It does not go anything like the book.]

ISABELLA: I am so happy to see you, Rosaline!

ROSALINE: I am markedly less happy to see you.

ESCALUS: *heart eyes*

ROSALINE: You I will favor with a look of repressed longing.

[Hmmm. I smell backstory! I mean, I know the backstory, I’ve read the book, but still.]

LIVIA: Somewhere in this crowd is my one true love. Ooh, and fire dancers!

ROSALINE: Is my sweet precious grown-up baby sister not the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen?

Elsewhere at the Fancy Ball

BENVOLIO: OK, so I came up with an itinerary for tonight’s pub-and-brothel crawl—

[aw snotblossoms, it’s Tybalt!]

TYBALT: FIGHT ME, MONTAGUE SCUM!

[Romeo would rather not, but then Mercutio shows up and it is ON. Tybalt stabs Mercutio. Romeo stabs Tybalt. Benvolio is busy dueling some other guy, I don’t know.]

MERCUTIO: A plague on both your houses! Ask for me tomorrow; you shall find me a grave man. *dies*

[Romeo is devastated. Benvolio is extremely concerned. Me, I am just glad Mercutio was allowed to keep the pun.]

The Courtyard, Casa Capulet

[The Capulet courtyard has much better shrubbery than the Montague courtyard. We’re talking topiary, hedge mazes, fishpond. It is GLORIOUS. Giles: 2, Luciles Malfoyle: 0.]

GILES: Yeah I kind of feel bad about how many people the feud has killed. It all started when my ancestor let one of his serfs save up money to buy his own flock, or something.

A VERY FANCY YOUNG MAN: I like money and power and I have a lot of both.

GILES: Count Paris, I have to tell you that I am unimpressed by your doublet-and-cape ensemble, magnificently upholstered though it is.

PARIS: Also my father is the prince of Mantua. Juliet will be well cared for there.

[They sound like they are discussing retirement arrangements for, like, a sick racehorse. It is not romantic, and Paris looks vaguely greasy to boot. Nevertheless—]

GILES: Sold!

The Breakfast Room, Casa Capulet

[Juliet is not having a good morning.]

LADY CAPULET: Well, well, thou hast a careful father, child. Congratulations, you’re marrying Paris. He is handsome, rich, and exceptionally well dressed! Seriously, I am going to reupholster all our furniture in his doublet material.

ROSALINE: *drops dishes*

GILES: And Romeo has killed your cousin Tybalt, which means his life is forfeit.

JULIET & ROSALINE: Oh, crap.

The Streets of Verona

ROMEO: *is on the lam*

The Palace

ESCALUS: Romeo was just avenging Mercutio! That seems legit to me!

[He seems oblivious to the fact that this kind of thinking is what keeps feuds going in the first place.]

ISABELLA: Yeah, but he got blood all over our floor. The law says he dies! And the law means nothing if you don’t enforce it.

ESCALUS: I can’t afford to piss off Montague!

ISABELLA: This is the kind of thinking that leads to revolution! To heads on spikes, brother! OUR HEADS. ON SPIKES. Is that what you want? IS IT?

[Actually Isabella’s kind of thinking also leads to revolution, though she’s not wrong about the need to actually enforce laws. I’m a little concerned for the monarchy, here.]

The Sewers of Verona

ROMEO: *is still on the lam*

Juliet’s Room, Casa Capulet

JULIET: We can’t just let him die!

ROSALINE: …We could, though? It would solve a lot of problems, I’m just saying.

Friar Laurence’s Workshop of Creepy Potions

FRIAR LAURENCE: Here is a fake-death potion. Don’t take more than one drop or it will be real-death potion.

JULIET: And you have fake-real-death potion lying around because…?

FRIAR LAURENCE: Don’t ask.

Juliet’s Room, Casa Capulet

ROSALINE: Are you sure about this?

JULIET: Yep.

ROSALINE: Okay then. HELP! MY LADY JULIET IS DEAD!

[Ladies, this is a terrible plan. You don’t actually have a plan! You don’t even have a pla! The show didn’t give you one!]

Some Tavern

BENVOLIO: *drinks*

FRIAR LAURENCE: B., where’s Romeo?

[Maybe he has a plan? Unfortunately, Benvolio doesn’t know where Romeo is.]

The Capulet Tomb

[Sad Paris is sad. His doublet-and-cape ensemble, however, is still magnificent. Enter Romeo, fight fight fight, stabz, drinks, dies, Juliet awakens, drinks, dies. In this version, Romeo, not a churl, has left a friendly drop to help her after. They lie facing each other on the bier, their hands entwined, their heads close together on the pillows like sleeping children. It is actually really sad.]

ROSALINE [arriving juuuuust too late]: Ohhhhh, this is bad. *flees*

[Dramatic zoom on Paris! He suddenly awakens and, with the last of his strength, Googles something.]

PARIS: “How… to get… blood… out of upholstery…”

Obligatory Period Drama Corset-Lacing Scene, Casa Capulet

[Evil Queen Lady Capulet and Rosaline are having a hostile heart-to-heart. It is abundantly clear that while Livia is living in a Disney Cinderella, Rosaline is stuck in the unhappy parts of Ever After.]

LADY CAPULET: Admire my generosity in letting you attend Juliet’s funeral! Are you not grateful? Don’t say I never did anything for you.

ROSALINE: No, really, what have you ever done for us? We wait on you hand and foot, and you hate us because you were in love with our father but you wanted a title so you married Giles instead, and our presence is a constant reminder of what you gave up!

LADY CAPULET: *backhands* Too much exposition!

ROSALINE: I miss my parents. And Juliet.

ROSALINE: Conceal don’t feel, don’t let them know! Well, now Lady Capulet knows.

Friar Laurence’s Cell of Dropped Bombshells

LUCILES MALFOYLE: I secretly encouraged my son to fall in love with Capulet’s daughter, and I paid you to marry them—

[WHAT?!]

LUCILES MALFOYLE:—and am I gonna get to lord it over Giles at state dinners now? Well, AM I?!?!

FRIAR LAURENCE: …no?

LUCILES MALFOYLE: And whose fault is that?

FRIAR LAURENCE: …mine?

LUCILES MALFOYLE: DAMN RIGHT IT IS.

[I give Luciles Malfoyle a point for sneakiness, but take it away again because it got people killed and he clearly did not plan for this contingency. Giles: 2, Luciles Malfoyle: 0.]

The Double Funeral

ESCALUS: And so, I realize that Capulet and Montague are basically the two mafia families that run this city, but I really need you all to give it a rest.

ROSALINE & BENVOLIO: *look concerned*

ESCALUS: Look, Montague commissioned this solid gold statue of Juliet as a peace offering!

[Giles: 2, Luciles Malfoyle: 1]

GILES [sotto voce]: And as a gauche display of wealth! Montagues, so lacking in class, amirite?

[Giles: 3, Luciles Malfoyle: 1]

[Escalus dramatically unveils the statue. It has been scrawled with the word “HARLOT” in red letters—]

ME: Wrong show!

[—and the funeral dissolves into chaos.]

ESCALUS: Rosaline! I’ll save you! Here, hide with me in this incredibly beautiful candlelit room.

ROSALINE: You do the heart eyes extremely well, but I’ve got to find my sister. Rosaline out!

Sibling Argument, The Palace

ISABELLA: Escalus, do something about all this civil brawling!

ESCALUS: But Mantua! Padua! The Medici! The Papal states! You don’t understand because you’re a GIRL!

ISABELLA: They can't conquer Verona if there isn't any of Verona left! YOUR DAMN CITY IS ON FIRE. LITERALLY.

Sibling Argument, Casa Capulet

LIVIA: You let Juliet marry a Montague and didn’t think that MAYBE THIS IS SOMETHING I SHOULD KNOW ABOUT???

ROSALINE: No time to argue! We’re getting out while we still can!

LIVIA: Out? Are you out of your goddamn mind?

[The sisterly argument is interrupted by a summons from the palace!]

The Brawling Streets of Verona

ROSALINE: Oh great, brigands. Like this day couldn’t get any worse.

[It’s about to get worse.]

A HELPFUL BYSTANDER: This way!

ROSALINE: Oh great, a dead-end alley… that is strewn with bodies…

THE HELPFUL BYSTANDER: Actually I am a villain!

ROSALINE: Time to conk a dude on the head with a billet of wood.

BENVOLIO [heroically backlit]: I’ll save you!

ROSALINE: I had it under control! You realize this is all your fault?

[They bicker, loudly, casting blame on each other and running through the entire list of ways in which Romeo and Juliet could have somehow not turned out badly.]

BENVOLIO: I am starting to seriously question why I jumped in to save a lady’s life.

ROSALINE: Your saving me is the worst thing ever. I’m going to storm off now.

BENVOLIO [calling after her]: YOU’RE WELCOME.

[The Rock called, he wants his Moana tagline back. He’ll probably get it: Benvolio doesn’t have enough tattoos or sass to carry it off very far. At least, I’m assuming he doesn’t. It’s kind of hard to tell under all the leather. His mustache is trying, though.]

The Castle of Capulet

[Meanwhile, Livia has been transported into a Gothic novel. She discovers a secret passage with a secret staircase leading to The Secret Sickroom, where The Nurse and Evil Queen Lady Capulet are tending to a sweaty, disheveled Paris. He is posing attractively and gasping as he continues to bleed on the upholstery. Clearly this requires someone with doctor skills and discretion.]

LIVIA: I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE!

Some Throne Room, The Palace

[Rosaline arrives, disheveled, at what is obviously an intervention. Giles and the Montagues are already there.]

GILES: Niece, I hope you are feeling extra patriotic today! For the Greater Good!

ROSALINE: This cannot possibly bode well.

[It doesn’t.]

ESCALUS: The marriage of Benvolio Montague and Rosaline Capulet is now mandated by the state. Which is me. Congratulations.

ROSALINE & BENVOLIO: …

BENVOLIO: Will your grace command me any service to the world’s end? I will go on the slightest errand now to the Antipodes that you can devise to send me on; I will fetch you a tooth-picker now from the furthest inch of Asia, bring you the length of Prester John’s foot, fetch you a hair off the great Cham’s beard, do you any embassage to the Pigmies, rather than hold three words’ conference with this harpy!

ROSALINE: I take it back; this is the worst thing ever. ROSALINE OUT.

A Fabulous Candlelit-and-Frescoed Interior, The Palace

ROSALINE: Given our adorable and romantic past that was tragically interrupted by my father being murdered in the street by Montagues, I think I have the right to ask: How could you?

ESCALUS: I’m actually doing this for totally valid political reasons, but I’m going to try to justify it by making it seem like I’m doing you a favor!

ROSALINE: Un. be. lieve. able.

ESCALUS: What do you want?

ROSALINE: Economic and political agency for women and a sovereign who isn't a complete bonehead?

ESCALUS: Try again.

ROSALINE: I will settle for tearful, clandestine makeouts.

ESCALUS: Done!

BENVOLIO: Well, that escalated quickly.

[Someone had to say it.]

Next Episode

#still star crossed #ssc recaps

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